intending to criticize but that you are
committed to him and want to help
him work through any patterns that
could be undermining the security
of your marriage. As you do this, you
begin to lay the groundwork for healing
to begin. At some point, couples or
individuals who are struggling with
excessive behavior may need to seek
listen to your feelings, we feel better
when you listen to our ideas.
For a marriage to become a great
marriage, husbands and wives need
to learn to partner with each other,
accentuating each other’s strengths
and helping to compensate for each
other’s weaknesses.
“
For a marriage to become a great marriage,
husbands and wives need to learn to partner
with each other, accentuating each other’s
strengths and helping to compensate for each
other’s weaknesses.”
the outside help of a professional
Christian counselor and/or a pastor.
But first, you need to approach your
husband to begin the process.
How do we husbands know we are
beginning to be understood? In two
ways:
• When you are truly interested in
our mundane life to the point of
fascination.
• When we try to “fix” something
and we know that you understand
that we are just exercising the
part of our masculinity that
needs to “make things better.”
Just as you feel understood when we
52 • Solutions
4. Take Time to Connect
As unbelievable as it may sound, the
first few minutes you and your husband
connect at the end of the workday is
critical.
Barb and I have a tradition in our home.
Within minutes of greeting each other
at the end of the day, we are sitting
and talking—just the two of us. We
talk about the kids, we review Barb’s
day and my day, we discuss the highs,
the lows - everything! Sometimes
these are deep discussions, but often
they’re just newsy, connecting talks.
This connection sets the tone for the
rest of the evening. It reminds us we
are teammates who are absolutely
committed to the same game.
When this doesn’t happen consistently,