will build him up and free him to go on . Okay , this all sounds good in theory , you may be saying , but how do I live this out in the nitty-gritty of real life ? What does it look like ?
Giving your husband the security of your unwavering love requires at least five elements : showing grace with his weaknesses ; affirming him whenever you can ; helping him feel safe ; taking time to connect , and studying your husband . blessings to me .”
Hearty affirmation is a key ingredient in unconditional love . It ’ s like a magnet : It draws us in ; it attracts us . If you have a hard time verbalizing your affirmation to your husband , think about when you first met him . What drew you to him ? What opened your heart to him ? Now , as you have matured in your marriage , what do you appreciate about your husband ? Write your thoughts down on a piece of paper .
1 . Show Grace in His Weakness All of us need grace . But we need it most when we are truly aware that we don ’ t deserve it — when we have failed , when we have made mistakes , when we have been selfish , when we have sinned .
If your husband has failed you or disappointed you or sinned against you , then he needs your grace . And when you express grace to your husband in his areas of weakness and sin , you love him as Jesus loves him .
2 . Affirm Him Whenever You Can Mark Twain once said , “ I can live a whole month on one compliment .” Just think about the life we can bring to a marriage with an ever-flowing stream of affirmation . Strengthen your husband with comments such as :
• “ I am proud of you , honey .”
• “ I love the way you love me when you ...”
• “ You are one of God ’ s richest
From your own responses , make a list of at least five statements that you can grab onto and begin to repeat to your husband .
3 . Help Him Feel Safe When I know that Barb understands me , I feel safe . When I don ’ t feel understood , my insecurity increases . Normally , a man won ’ t recognize it in these terms . And we husbands don ’ t know how to tell you this , so instead , we blow up . Or we bury ourselves in some excessive behavior . Or we search for something we can control .
If you see any of these negative patterns in your husband ’ s behavior , something is missing in your relationship . I am not saying you are responsible , although you may be contributing to the patterns , something definitely is missing and needs to be addressed .
Where do you start ? Get alone with him and assure him that you are not
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