will build him up and free him to go on. Okay, this all sounds good in theory, you may be saying, but how do I live this out in the nitty-gritty of real life? What does it look like?
Giving your husband the security of your unwavering love requires at least five elements: showing grace with his weaknesses; affirming him whenever you can; helping him feel safe; taking time to connect, and studying your husband. blessings to me.”
Hearty affirmation is a key ingredient in unconditional love. It’ s like a magnet: It draws us in; it attracts us. If you have a hard time verbalizing your affirmation to your husband, think about when you first met him. What drew you to him? What opened your heart to him? Now, as you have matured in your marriage, what do you appreciate about your husband? Write your thoughts down on a piece of paper.
1. Show Grace in His Weakness All of us need grace. But we need it most when we are truly aware that we don’ t deserve it— when we have failed, when we have made mistakes, when we have been selfish, when we have sinned.
If your husband has failed you or disappointed you or sinned against you, then he needs your grace. And when you express grace to your husband in his areas of weakness and sin, you love him as Jesus loves him.
2. Affirm Him Whenever You Can Mark Twain once said,“ I can live a whole month on one compliment.” Just think about the life we can bring to a marriage with an ever-flowing stream of affirmation. Strengthen your husband with comments such as:
•“ I am proud of you, honey.”
•“ I love the way you love me when you...”
•“ You are one of God’ s richest
From your own responses, make a list of at least five statements that you can grab onto and begin to repeat to your husband.
3. Help Him Feel Safe When I know that Barb understands me, I feel safe. When I don’ t feel understood, my insecurity increases. Normally, a man won’ t recognize it in these terms. And we husbands don’ t know how to tell you this, so instead, we blow up. Or we bury ourselves in some excessive behavior. Or we search for something we can control.
If you see any of these negative patterns in your husband’ s behavior, something is missing in your relationship. I am not saying you are responsible, although you may be contributing to the patterns, something definitely is missing and needs to be addressed.
Where do you start? Get alone with him and assure him that you are not
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