This Is Who
You Really Are
B y K r i s t i W at t s
44 Solutions
I was trying to skip out
of church early so that no
one would notice me as
folks filed out of the ser-
vice. That had become
my M.O.
I’m not sure when it
began, but somewhere
along the way I had
become super self-con-
scious and overly inse-
cure about everything. I
was convinced people
could see all my failures
and shortcomings by
merely peering into my
eyes. The fear of expos-
ing the truth of what my
life was really like these
days created a concoc-
tion of anxiety and worry
that stirred within my soul,
hijacking any semblance
of peace.
What I did for a living
had come to define me,
and now, without the big
titles and fancy labels, I
wasn’t so sure who I was
anymore. I felt lost.
“What are you doing
these days?”
“Where are you work-
ing now?”
“You’re still not married
yet?”
In my mind those ques-
tions roughly translated
to “What’s wrong with
you?” and “Do you real-
ize there must be some-
thing wrong with you?”
When people asked
me these questions, it
always set off a ringing in
my ears and increased
my heartbeat so much