Before Kate Winslet became an
Academy Award winner, she had
to learn to admire her body and be
kind to herself. The star of such films
as Titanic, Divergent, and Steve Jobs,
she grew up running from bullies. Day
after day, she felt the sting of their
insults because she was “chubby”
and couldn’t afford fashionable
clothes or the latest hairstyle. Cruel
words and childish pranks chipped
away at her self-esteem. For years,
she suffered from feelings of inferiority.
Kate now works to inspire girls—
including her own daughter—to
embrace who they are regardless of
their size or station in life. To combat
stereotypes, Kate regularly practices
a self-esteem exercise with her
young daughter: “I stand in front of
the mirror and say to Mia, ‘We are
so lucky we have a shape. We’re so
lucky that we’re curvy. We’re so lucky
that we’ve got good bums.’ And
she’ll say, ‘Mummy, I know—thank
God.’”1
If your self-esteem has been
injured, tell yourself, “I am special. I
have something unique to offer the
world.” The more love you have for
yourself, the more love you have to
give away. It’s easy to obsess over
your perceived shortcomings, but
they aren’t real. The bar you set for
yourself should be based on your
unique qualities and talents—not
those belonging to someone else.
You have a unique capacity to bring
hope and beauty to the world. Don’t
waste your precious energy using the
wrong ruler.
Granted, not everyone will
acknowledge your unique gifts. But
don’t allow how others see you to
dictate how you see yourself. The
words they use to describe you don’t
define you. You can’t control how
they respond to you, but you can
influence what they ha ve to respond
to. So, what are you showing them?
Sadness or joy? Greed or generosity?
Apathy or kindness? What do your
facial expressions and words convey
about how you view yourself? If you
tell yourself you’re ugly, untalented,
and unlovable, you’re probably
sending that same message to others.
If you’ve been wounded by friends
or family—or through insensitive
remarks or blatant attacks—you’re
not alone. Millions live with secret
pain. Bitterness has stolen their
dreams and buried their talents. But
you can reject that outcome. You
have the power to break free from
anger and resentment and to set a
new course for your life. Don’t fix your
eyes on your past; fix them on what
you can become.
Here are ten ways you can be kind
to yourself:
1. Don’t look back. You will face
obstacles and hardships, but make
a decision that you’re going to press
on beyond life’s disappointments and
challenges. Life’s windshield is large
and the rearview mirror is small—
because what is in front of you is far
more important than what is behind
you. What you dwell on determines
your destination and destiny.
2. Encourage yourself. Throughout
the day, give yourself pep talks. Build
yourself up rather than tear yourself
down. When the weight of the world
is on your shoulders, get off your own
back!
3. Spread optimism. Television legend
Fred Rogers said positivity is a form
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