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GREAT CONVERSATION
WINTER 2 0 1 8 / 2 0 1 9
The Science Of Great
Conversation
YOU’RE GOING to a party,
networking event or cocktail
hour to meet new contacts
and make connections.
However, you always have
a problem figuring out how
to approach people, no
matter what the situation.
Thankfully, there are skills
you can hone and then use in
social or business settings. They
may be verbal or nonverbal,
and easy to grasp or require
a little practice. I want to
explore the science of great
conversation with you.
How can you make dazzling
conversation with anyone
you meet? There is both
an art and a science to
effective communication.
1. BE ANTI-BORING
Everyone starts off
conversations the same way.
They say, “What do you do?”
or “Where are you from?”
Instead, ask someone, “What
passion projects are you
working on?” or “What gets
you up in the morning?”
2. START OFF STRONG
Start off the conversation
with a “how” or “why”
question. People will give
you more thoughtful answers
and really think about why
you’re asking them. Say, for
instance, “How did you meet
the host?” That way you’ll
learn about the person you’re
talking to, as well as the host.
personal right off the bat. 9. THE EYES HAVE IT
6. BREAK IT DOWN Make eye contact with someone.
Power gaze at people; this
involves looking at people’s
eyes and foreheads, and not
below their mouths. That’s
only for social situations.
Break down a question for
someone. Instead of being
general and saying, “How are
you doing?” ask, “How’s Fall
treating you so far?” Frame
it in the context of time so
he or she can thoughtfully
answer the question.
7. BE THE HIGHLIGHT
Ask people if they have any trips
or fun adventures coming up. Ask a person, “Have any
highlights today?” Not only
is this person going to feel
good because he or she gets
to talk about him or herself,
but it also starts off the
conversation on a positive note.
4. FOSTER EXCITEMENT 8. THE HANDSHAKE
Ask people if anything exciting
happened to them that day. Use a firm handshake when
you meet someone. Don’t do
the “death grip,” but make
sure that your firmness level
communicates that you’re
confident in yourself.
3. TRIPS AND
ADVENTURES
5. STORIES
Tell a story. People love
funny anecdotes and it makes
your conversation more
10. POWER POSE
Don’t stand slumped over.
Instead, do a power pose.
Stand with your feet apart
and your arms loose at your
sides. People are going to be
attracted to you and want to
talk to you because you seem
confident and in control.
11. LIKE-DAR
Ask a “like radar” question.
This is a question that will
highlight what you two have
in common. For example, you
might ask, “Keeping up with
[certain sport] lately?” or “What
are your favorite restaurants
around here?” These questions
and things in common will
foster instant connections.