so Nora retreated into herself and created a fantasy family. Sharing her hurt made her cry but her mother said“ Only evil people love to cry” so she learned not to.
At eight years old Nora sweat profusely plus she started menstruating. But she was never taught how to take care of herself. She was berated in front of the whole school. Her mother called her nasty and accused her of not bathing properly.
“ I was the ugliest, smelliest kid in class,” said Nora,“ so I would cry to stay home from school.
I could not understand why they couldn’ t help me..” Despite the presence of adults with children in her house,“ they would just criticize how I looked.”
Today, Nora is convinced that she is fat and ugly. Yet she is creative and she excels academically. She is a natural teacher.
Insecurity is defined by anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. This definition suggests that most of us feel insecure sometimes. The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
A traumatic childhood can be the springboard for insecurity.
One’ s genetics can determine your response in times of instability. Some people have a more physical trigger-ready response to threats, from birth. They are naturally more likely to become hyper-vigilant and ever-watchful over time as each new threat emerges.
Other causes of insecurity are:
• Comparing yourself to others
• Appearances and imperfections
( external or internal)
• Acceptance by others( i. e. fitting in, other’ s opinions, etc.)
• Feeling unloved or unwanted
• Fear
To identify the symptoms look for:
• Lack of confidence
• Shyness or talking too much
• Nervousness
• Hesitancy
• Self-condemnation
• Isolation
• Attempting to earn acceptance or love
• Bullying
• A Condescending or patronizing attitude
• Being Critical of others, belittling others, pointing out flaws in others
When we compare ourselves to others we are using others as the standard and they are just as imperfect as us. The truth is nobody really measures up. We ALL fall short of God’ s standard. Instead of comparing, place your faith in Jesus Christ. Know that God accepts and loves you even though you don’ t measure up to His perfect standard. The Bible says“ We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’ s glorious standard.” Romans 3:22-23( NLT).
Many persons are insecure about their physical appearance and concerned about their abilities. The Scripture says:
“ Don’ t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewellery, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4( NLT)
This verse suggests even women of old, like women today, may have
been preoccupied with their physical appearance. It may be cliché, but it is what’ s in our hearts that make us likeable, not only by God but even each other. How many of us know physically beautiful men and women we would rather avoid and vice versa.
Jesus, the only PERFECT man that ever walked the earth, was described in the Bible as“... There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him.” Isaiah 53:2b( NLT) So JESUS was not even cute?
We are accepted by one who is greater than the most powerful leaders in the earth.“ But he said to me,‘ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’ s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’ s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10( NIV)
God is the God of the impossible. He can take an old man( Moses) with a speech impediment and through him brings down the mightiest nation in the world. God accepts us. Yes, it may hurt that people do not like you. So one practical thing we can do is spend more time with those who sincerely accept us. People who make us feel good about ourselves, not worse. Persons who, even when critical of us, their intention is to build up. We should also limit our associations with those who rarely have something positive to say. p
References
• Jon Bloom Desiringgod. org
• Melanie Greenberg Psychologytoday. com
• Happyhealthyandprosperous. com, 9 Common Causes of Insecurity by Traci Robbins
By Lorraine Rainford: Women’ s Pastor and Integrative Nutrition Health and Lifestyle Coach.
April- June 2018 SHARE | MAGAZINE | 31