so Nora retreated into herself and created a fantasy family . Sharing her hurt made her cry but her mother said “ Only evil people love to cry ” so she learned not to .
At eight years old Nora sweat profusely plus she started menstruating . But she was never taught how to take care of herself . She was berated in front of the whole school . Her mother called her nasty and accused her of not bathing properly .
“ I was the ugliest , smelliest kid in class ,” said Nora , “ so I would cry to stay home from school .
I could not understand why they couldn ’ t help me ..” Despite the presence of adults with children in her house , “ they would just criticize how I looked .”
Today , Nora is convinced that she is fat and ugly . Yet she is creative and she excels academically . She is a natural teacher .
Insecurity is defined by anxiety about oneself ; lack of confidence . This definition suggests that most of us feel insecure sometimes . The kind of childhood you had , past traumas , recent experiences of failure or rejection , loneliness , social anxiety , negative beliefs about yourself , perfectionism , or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity .
A traumatic childhood can be the springboard for insecurity .
One ’ s genetics can determine your response in times of instability . Some people have a more physical trigger-ready response to threats , from birth . They are naturally more likely to become hyper-vigilant and ever-watchful over time as each new threat emerges .
Other causes of insecurity are :
• Comparing yourself to others
• Appearances and imperfections
( external or internal )
• Acceptance by others ( i . e . fitting in , other ’ s opinions , etc .)
• Feeling unloved or unwanted
• Fear
To identify the symptoms look for :
• Lack of confidence
• Shyness or talking too much
• Nervousness
• Hesitancy
• Self-condemnation
• Isolation
• Attempting to earn acceptance or love
• Bullying
• A Condescending or patronizing attitude
• Being Critical of others , belittling others , pointing out flaws in others
When we compare ourselves to others we are using others as the standard and they are just as imperfect as us . The truth is nobody really measures up . We ALL fall short of God ’ s standard . Instead of comparing , place your faith in Jesus Christ . Know that God accepts and loves you even though you don ’ t measure up to His perfect standard . The Bible says “ We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ . And this is true for everyone who believes , no matter who we are . For everyone has sinned ; we all fall short of God ’ s glorious standard .” Romans 3:22-23 ( NLT ).
Many persons are insecure about their physical appearance and concerned about their abilities . The Scripture says :
“ Don ’ t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles , expensive jewellery , or beautiful clothes . You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within , the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit , which is so precious to God .” 1 Peter 3:3-4 ( NLT )
This verse suggests even women of old , like women today , may have
been preoccupied with their physical appearance . It may be cliché , but it is what ’ s in our hearts that make us likeable , not only by God but even each other . How many of us know physically beautiful men and women we would rather avoid and vice versa .
Jesus , the only PERFECT man that ever walked the earth , was described in the Bible as “... There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance , nothing to attract us to him .” Isaiah 53:2b ( NLT ) So JESUS was not even cute ?
We are accepted by one who is greater than the most powerful leaders in the earth . “ But he said to me , ‘ My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness .’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses , so that Christ ’ s power may rest on me . That is why , for Christ ’ s sake , I delight in weaknesses , in insults , in hardships , in persecutions , in difficulties . For when I am weak , then I am strong .” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ( NIV )
God is the God of the impossible . He can take an old man ( Moses ) with a speech impediment and through him brings down the mightiest nation in the world . God accepts us . Yes , it may hurt that people do not like you . So one practical thing we can do is spend more time with those who sincerely accept us . People who make us feel good about ourselves , not worse . Persons who , even when critical of us , their intention is to build up . We should also limit our associations with those who rarely have something positive to say . p
References
• Jon Bloom Desiringgod . org
• Melanie Greenberg Psychologytoday . com
• Happyhealthyandprosperous . com , 9 Common Causes of Insecurity by Traci Robbins
By Lorraine Rainford : Women ’ s Pastor and Integrative Nutrition Health and Lifestyle Coach .
April - June 2018 SHARE | MAGAZINE | 31