In early parenthood , we experienced a lack of control that was at times extremely joyous , and other times terrifying . Brad and I constantly rebalanced our career aspirations , relationship and schedules as we adjusted to accommodate for our daughter ’ s needs and encourage her development . To say this adjustment has been seamless would be untrue , and would minimize the complex web of interdependent decisions parents make daily to provide for their family and maintain their sanity . For dentists who tend to thrive on order , organization , control and autonomy , the infancy period is an understandably difficult transition .
However , given our many years of higher education and relocations , I believe medical professional are actually uniquely trained to adapt to early parenthood , and arguably may even thrive in the absolute chaos that is toddlerhood . We are fortunate as dentists that our careers afford us the ability to choose amongst childcare options , allowing us to maintain our jobs , if we desire .
Overall , the transition to becoming a working mom has been both harder and more rewarding than I could ’ ve anticipated . The immediate postpartum period and lack of medical and psychiatric care for a new mother ’ s physical and emotional well-being is still a glaring and unacceptable flaw in the U . S . workplace ( which deserves an entirely separate discussion ). This stress and fatigue is never more apparent than when a new mom is trying to keep her infant alive , fit back into her work clothes / scrubs , not leak bodily fluids anywhere , nourish her healing body and mind while also getting back to work fixing teeth ( and paying off student loans ). The idea that any one mom can do all of this gracefully is a sham perpetrated by Hollywood and social media . A real working mom is perfect only in her fallibility , vulnerability and acceptance of her limits . She laughs in the face of amounting chaos and insurmountable piles of dirty bottles , cries in the shower ( or in the middle of the night when endlessly rocking a screaming infant ), and then gets up and does it all over again . She does not have it “ all together ” all the time , but she slowly learns to accept help and that her new role as a mother does not equate to martyrdom or constant sacrifice .
Instead , these early years of motherhood can be formative : it is a unique period of time when a woman can reshape her identity to not only accommodate for her children , but also to better understand her own primal needs and desires . Seeing myself through my daughter ’ s eyes has made me want to be a better endodontist , a more fierce feminist , and a more empathetic wife , friend and mother . I feel empowered , exhausted , invigorated and a little bit comically confused as to how I already have a 1.5 year old . Maybe it ’ s the sleep deprivation , maybe it ’ s motherhood .
Overall , the transition to becoming a working mom has been both harder and more rewarding than I could ’ ve anticipated .
SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2023 | PENNSYLVANIA DENTAL JOURNAL 23