Medical advice choices
is the path I should take , because liquid calories add up quickly and contribute little or no nutritional value .
I am carefully considering his advice , since I am paying for it , but I am also considering the free advice I got after that visit .
If you want plenty of good , free advice , all you have to do is ask a few questions at the office or among friends ,
Curmudgeon ’ s and a wealth of options will be presented .
Corner
One unpaid consultant said all the men in his family
IVAN RACONTEUR • EDITOR had enjoyed their beer , and lived long lives . His greatgrandfather smoked cigars and a pipe until the day he died at age 103 .
Another fellow said his grandad started each day with a couple fried eggs and a half-pound of bacon , and lived to a ripe old age .
There was also an account of a relative who smoked like a chimney and enjoyed a big beaker of whiskey after dinner each night , and outlived all his health-consicous friends .
I especially enjoy the tales of those special uncles – the ones who never went to bed before 3 a . m ., spent every day dancing , socializing , and enjoying refreshing adult beverages , and who lived to a venerable age while managing to look much better than they deserved to ( in the opinion of their critical contemporaries ). One , in particular , lived large , enjoyed cheese on everything , and died with a smile on his face . I haven ’ t yet decided which advice I should follow . I really would like to lose some weight and improve my fitness , but the prescription for that doesn ’ t sound like any fun at all .
On the other hand , the bacon-booze-and-cigarette plan , combined with ample doses of dancing and socializing , seems intriguing .
I can ’ t help thinking genetics has as much to do with it as anything .
The cards we are dealt may have more of an influence on longevity than our behavior .
Some people take care of themselves their whole lives and die much too young , while others pay no attention to their health and seem destined to live forever .
If it ’ s true that our behavior can ’ t overcome our genes , I ’ d rather take my chances and whoop it up , as opposed to dying of boredom at age 106 .
I ’ m not sure if it is better , but the free advice sure sounds like more fun than the advice for which I paid .
I had my annual visit with the doc last week . Those encounters are always good for a laugh .
My simple definition of a visit to the doctor is : “ Checking my dignity at the door and paying money I don ’ t have for the privilege of having someone tell me what I already know , and would rather not hear .”
As I sat alone in the exam room waiting for my audience with the doc , it occurred to me how little those places have changed .
Medicine has changed a lot over the past half century , but those little exam rooms are the same now as when I was a kid .
The prominent feature is the exam table with the roll of paper on it to protect the surface , and the pull-out step at the end .
There is the cabinet in the corner with a row of apothecary jars along the top containing cotton balls , tongue depressors , and gauze .
Also on the table is one of those little rubber mallets for testing a patient ’ s reflexes . Hanging above the table is a blood pressure cuff . The color scheme in my current doc ’ s office is neutral hues , as opposed to the stark black and white clinic in my youth , and the new doc seems to favor those stylized outdoor scenes rather than Norman Rockwell prints , but other than those subtle differences , the rooms could be identical .
When the doc breezed in , we went through the usual poking , peering , and prodding . Then we got to the advice portion of the program . I confessed to the doc I am concerned about the amount of weight I have put on during the past year . He said the first thing he recommends to anyone wishing to reduce weight is to eliminate all liquid calories . I didn ’ t like the sound of that . He explained that meant I would have to eliminate all juice , soda , fancy coffee drinks , malts , smoothies , and , of course , refreshing adult beverages .
I pointed out that wine is good for me , but he said if I was serious , I ’ d have to cut out all juice , including the fermented kind . This basically leaves me just a few options . I can have my usual cup of Earl Grey tea in the morning , and a cup of black coffee for an afternoon pick-meup . Other than that , I will be drinking gallons and gallons of water .
The doc said he might accept an argument for an occasional glass of skim milk , since this contains some nutritional value , but everything else would be off the menu .
I like my doc . He is not excitable or judgemental like some of his profession . He is laid-back , reasonable , and straightforward .
He didn ’ t actually order me to give up liquid calories . He simply said if I was serious about weight loss , that
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