Sea Island Life Magazine Spring/Summer 2014 | Page 73

but it’s something you need to learn because
it will start you off on the right foot.”
Many families have taken advantage of the
opportunity to head off these problems early
on by enrolling their sons or daughters in
Sea Island’s etiquette classes. Working with
boarding school or college students is something Wall particularly enjoys. In addition
to her group courses at Sea Island, she also
teaches private classes that cover everything
from roommate etiquette to how to talk to
professors. “When people graduate from
college, overcoming shyness to get a job is an
important skill,” she says. After all, the ability
to build relationships can increase a person’s
success in the business world.
“People can be smart, but if they don’t have
people skills, there will be a point at which
they stop moving up,” she adds. “Banking is
a good example. People want to do business
with people they trust and respect, and [etiquette] is key in that.”

Avoiding Common Mistakes
Even the most seasoned etiquette adherent can slip up from time to time. In many
situations, going back to basics can go a long
way toward building trust. “People forget to
say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ a lot,” Post says.
“But ‘please’ creates a request instead of a
demand.” She says that recognizing what we
are asking of the people around us, and being
appropriately grateful for their help sets the
right tone in any social environment.
In her classes, Wall notes that some of
the common mistakes she observes are children not knowing where to put their napkin
(or when to use it) while dining. Similarly,
Haygood has noticed a trend of young women
playing with their hair at the table. “You used
to not see that, and now it is not at all odd to
see a little girl take out a rubber band and put
her hair in a ponytail at the table,” she says.
She also notes that the use of cellphones in
restaurants or at concerts, even if they are on
silent, is a breach of common courtesy.
Contrary to popular belief, etiquette experts
do not fault technology as a whole for a decline
in civility. “Emily [Post] loved radios; she was
a technophile,” Post says. She urges caution,
however, in the extent to which people try to
tune out society with headphones, cellphones
and tablet computers.
Etiquette for thank you notes and RSVPs
also top the list of common breaches. Whether
via email or handwritten letter, experts agree
that expressing gratitude, whether for a job

Having prepared topics makes for an enjoyable party, advises Sea Island etiquette teacher Jennifer Wall.

interview or a dinner party, is paramount.
While social environments may not be as
structured and family-oriented as they once
were, there are still plenty of opportunities
for parents to set a good example for their
children. “We have to come to an understanding that technology, especially in business,
is with us to stay,” Wall says. In her private
lessons, she gives parents a list of behaviors
they can model at home to ensure that their
children pi