It’s easy to remember how to be loving around Valentine's Day, but much harder in other situations. Especially those tense situations in fights. Why? Defensive behavior.
Defensive behavior makes a calm discussion devolve into a full-out argument. It makes people lose their ability to listen and respond appropriately. It’s like hearing the worst accusations and never once doubting that is what your spouse meant. Worse, defensive behavior tends to trigger a similar response in all others who are present.
In a marriage relationship, it’s sometimes necessary, and healthy, to confront your spouse about something. But when there are only two people present in the argument, it can be hard to curb that defensive behavior. So here are four steps to fighting fair:
Step #1 – Focus on the Team
You and your husband are a team. It should never be about winning against him; instead, it should be about winning against the rest of the world. It’s about finding a solution that benefits you, as a team, the most.