programs and serve as a daily reminder of our commitment
to our boys.
Like Saint David’s, The Southport School recognizes
Aristotle’s mandate that, “Educating the mind without
educating the heart is no education at all.” Dr. O’Halloran
and I had the opportunity to attend a chapel service while
at The Southport School. Upon leaving, we noticed a
poster entitled “Habits of the Heart.” On it, there are
three intersectional circles representing ways to “Be
Loving.” They remind us that the three principal domains
to cultivate in students are the personal, the communal, and
the relational. By developing in all these areas, we build the
skills that are necessary to become a good leader; someone
others admire and want to learn from, because we recognize
the inherent goodness in a truly loving person. These
overlapping domains bring to mind the timeless words of
John Donne:
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know
for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee. (1624)
The international experience of IBSC was both comforting
and inspiring when one considers it by the numbers: 619
delegates; 163 schools; 13 countries; 376 of whom were from
Australia and New Zealand, with a single common goal to
educate, guide, and serve boys in our schools to be the best
leaders of tomorrow. As a representative of The Southport
School said, “We are a band of brothers.”
As caring and loving adults in the lives of our boys, it is not
always easy to let go. The demands of modern culture add to
that challenge. We want to protect children and shield them,
at all cost. In fact, today there are labels describing the desire
to do so. Parents are often referred to as Helicopter Parents
(hovering over their children so as to be there to prevent
them from falling/failing); Black Hawk Parents (swooping
down to pick them up, so there is minimum damage and
inadvertently no lesson learned); and, recently, Bull Dozer
Parents (prepared to remove all obstacles in the way). While
the intention is good, the cost of doing so, however, may be
higher than one realizes. Boys need to develop adaptability
through experimentation, they need creative endeavors to
explore life beyond the classroom and to enhance academic
learning, they need to take risks and fail, they need to grow
in their resilience, and they must spend time on mindfulness
and reflection. The caring adults in their lives need to be
good mentors, encourage independence, and in the words of
leadership gurus, Kouzes and Posner, “Model the Way” for
them to grow as they become independent. This is how true
leadership is developed.
The speakers this year may have been less known than
Archbishop Desmond Tutu to many, but they served to
underscore the recurrent theme of leading oneself first as
well as the value of developing resilience. Both speakers
shared their inspirational life stories with candor and
grace. Catherine McGregor AM, a distinguished leader
and military officer in Australia, global strategic affairs
advisor, former professional cricket star, sports journalist,
and transgender advocate, gave a powerful talk on her
“The Saint David’s community
can feel confident that we are
forging the right educational
and spiritual path for our students
and that it is being done
with loving care.”
own transition journey entitled “Leadership, Identity, and
Valuing the Individual.” Li Cunxin, author of Mao’s Last
Dancer: “My Inspirational Journey,” and Artistic Director
of the Queensland Ballet, recounted his life of severe poverty
and his artistic journey in Mao’s communist China. Each
speaker, while profoundly different, illustrated the theme of
self-leadership that anchored this year’s IBSC conference.
There was a profound connection which they both shared
in describing influential mentors in their lives who had life-
changing impact on building their grit and determination,
and shaping their ultimate success. Ms. McGregor added
that she did not envy the challenges that twenty-first
century youth face with regard to technology, referring to it
as a “great servant but a poor master.” Information gathered
from technology is not a substitute for connectedness with
mentors, parents, teachers; or readings from the Bible,
Shakespeare, or other great literary works. Lessons derived
from these sources are vital to instilling a sense of hope in
our boys. Her final thoughts on leadership were ones we
would all be wise to heed: be fair, develop a willingness to
admit error, and know thyself before you lead. She ended
with the words of a fellow cricket player, “To see virtue in
others, one must be virtuous.”
When parents are asked to cite the single most important
area of development they seek for their children, surveys
indicate that character education is paramount. The
conference program clearly had this in mind. However,
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