Rumination Fugue Publication Rumination Fugue Publication | Seite 66

the fact that she herself was sad and continuing believing that Rose was just having
some mental problems. Rose’s father, a seemingly simple lawyer, ignored and paid no
attention to Rose’s problem. Her brother Joseph was continuing calling her “nuts”
instead of giving any trust or care. No body trusted Rose and give love and attention to
that young girl. The only thing she could do is to hide her emotions and thoughts away
from other people. For the following years, Rose bore the burden of having the ability
to taste feelings and coped with the societal interactions with her mom, dad and her
brother. She had already learned to deal with isolation and the ignorance of others.
Girls in the childhood need attention and encouragement and they also give back
in the form of sharing. For me myself, I was a girl who always seek for praise and
attention as much as I can. When I was not feeling well or having some problems, I will
definitely find others to let them notice my difficulties and together help me. Because of
having the chance to hold the attention, I am more willing to share my thoughts and
emotions with others. But being ignored by others is a torture for every single young
female because the way they were taught from an early age was to share and devote into
trivial and emotional things. I would do anything to attract their attentions and care
because of the sensitivity inside. Rose’s reaction of getting rid of her mouse is such a
perfect evidence for seeking attentions because no one regarded her problem as emer-
gent and miserable. And she is very painful about being ignored: “I could feel the tears
beginning to collect in my throat again”(Bender, 27). However, her mom misunderstood
her as mental problem deepened Rose’s belief that no one is going to belief in her,
which accelerated the process to cover up her thoughts and emotions and avoid social
relations. This is a form of obey when others don’t care your thoughts and emotions,
hide the emotion and pretend everything is going fine is an excuse for not being
noticed.
Because of gender typing and gender education, female’s response to socializa-
tion significantly depend on others opinion and attitude. For example, when I bought a
dress that I really like in the shopping mall but my friends or the shopping assistant say
that it does not fit me well, I will give up the idea of buying it even if this is the most
beautiful dress in my opinion. Or if I want to get a new hair cut that I think is cool and
wonderful but other thinks that I look awful if the hair cut is done, I will also give up
the idea of doing my hair cut. We tend to meet the expectation of other people but forget
what we truly want. Rose was willing to express her feelings as what normal young
girls do. However, the fact that everyone was denying and refusing her shaped her