result, he thinks the best way to show his love is just to tell Mrs. Ramsay directly that
he loves her deeply. The way he expresses his love is through the affirmation of words,
but it doesn’t work on Mrs. Ramsay as she longs for unspoken words of love, such as
taking care for children, handling family affairs, and giving Mr. Ramsay support when
he needs it. Her language of love is the acts of service and she believes that actions
truly speak louder than words. Due to the reasons above, they only care about each
other on the surface, in fact, are separate from each other.
At the top of this, they usually focus too much on each other so that they may
lose themselves and fall into negative emotions. When Mrs. Ramsay thinks that Mr.
Ramsay feels self-denial in their marriage, she wants to make changes that can let him
feel valued and joyful, thinking that “She did not like, even for a second, to feel finer
than her husband” (pg28, Virginia Woolf). Although Mrs. Ramsay seems warm-hearted,
her inner thoughts indicate their unnormal and negative relationship because it
constrains both independent developments and freedom.
It doesn’t mean that Mrs. Ramsay and Mr. Ramsay are not a good couple and
badly match, indeed, as a teenager, I see a great potential for them to build a healthier
and better relationship. If they try to put themselves in the other's shoes, their relation-
ship probably will become stronger and better. To be specific, Mrs. Ramsay can practice
becoming more rational and express her feelings to Mr. Ramsay in time. On the other
hand, Mr. Ramsay sometimes may be too intense and strict, which causes an intangible
barrier in their marriage relationship. Activities such as creating things, having conver-
sations with friends, playing with his kids, eating simple food, going outside, and
getting active could help him become more relaxed. Instead of thinking selfishly,
couples need to think in another way and develop empathy by showing their vulnerabil-
ity to each other in order to maintain their relationship.
Nowadays, many couples face the difficulties to get along well with each other
in their marriage relationship. The research shows that divorce rate increases rapidly,
and more and more people are afraid of getting married. The reason causes this problem
probably because people don’t want to spend too much time and energy on staying with
a new person and develop a long and lasting relationship. In contrast, they tend to
develop and improve themselves individually. Without the restriction of marriage, they
will feel free and easy. There is no doubt that people will influence each other in a
relationship. A good and healthy marriage relationship is that couples can complement
each other’s weaknesses and improve themselves simultaneously. The impacts should