ROTAMIRROR MAY ISSUE RotaMirror, May Issue '19, Rotaract Club of Kololo | Page 15

2. Men can correct men.
If you hear a guy say some jacked-
up slurs in front of you and there’s no
one from that particular community
around to be offended, you can
still say something. This is also
true when you hear misogynistic
language. Speak up. Tell your
friend or co-worker that rape jokes
are bullshit and you won’t tolerate
them.
Trust me you won’t lose your “man
card.” If you’re older than nineteen
and you’re still worried about your
man card, you don’t understand
what
respectable
masculinity
is about, anyway. It’s not about
cultish approval from others — it’s
about being “your own man” and
doing the right thing. You might be
surprised by how many other men
will respect you for doing what they
wanted to but didn’t. I’ve heard it
plenty. I’m not some social justice
cop, but I have and will argue with
whole roomfuls of men. Later on,
some dudes will approach me and
say how much they respected what
I did. I always tell them it gets easier
to speak up every time you do it. I
promise you that’s true.
No one is suggesting you go
around policing everybody. I don’t
make it my business to make sure
everyone live by my yardstick. No
one needs you telling them what
you think about every little thing
they say and whether it meets your
criteria for social awareness. But
when some dude says some foul
shit, and you know it — we all hear
those jokes — you can let the dude
know his rape joke or his “she’s a
whore” analogy didn’t play.
3. Men can make other men STFU.
Let’s say, you’re in a group of men,
and one of your friends starts
hollering at a girl — tell him to knock
it the fuck off. You won’t be a punk
for speaking up for the woman. As
long as you don’t try to score points
with her for “defending her,” you
won’t be white-knighting it either.
You’re just doing the right thing.
No one needs some sexist clown
hollering at her because the dude
popped a mental woody.
Cat-calling is one of the worst
advertisements for male sexuality
there is. Those assholes make us
all look like complete tools. You get
that, right? We need to cut that shit
out.
Working construction is when I
learned to speak up to a group of
men. You have to do it. Mostly, you
do it because you want to respect
yourself. Otherwise, you’re another
pathetic man that allows a guy to
mistreat a woman in your presence.
When a guy cat-calls a woman and
you don’t say something, he just
treated her like a cheaply degraded
sex object for his satisfaction and
he turned you into the punk-ass
that’s willing to allow him to mistreat
a woman in your presence … while
you say nothing.
When something like #YesAllWomen
occurs in our cultural conversation
and women the world over are out
there sharing their experiences,
their trauma, their stories and their
personal views, as men, we don’t
need to enter that conversation.
In that moment, all we need to do
is listen, and reflect, and let their
words change our perspective. Our
job is to ask ourselves how we can
do better.
Zaron Burnett III:
What would your grandfather think
if he saw you in that moment? Would
he be proud of you? Are you proud
of yourself? Male pride is good for
something — use it to be your better
self. Don’t be that silent punk that
goes along with the crowd to get
along with the crowd. Speak up
when someone cat-calls a woman
in front of you. Tell them to shut the
fuck up. As a man, you have power.
Use it. Men respect conviction.
4. It’s our job to have standards
for ourselves, and thus, for all
men.
You may think, “Zaron, man, lighten
up, brother. Cat-calling is not that
big a deal. Aren’t we making a
mountain out of a molehill? Some
women like it.” You may be right.
Maybe some women do like it. That
doesn’t matter. I like to speed. My
cousin likes to smoke pot in public.
Neither of us gets to do what we like.
That’s just how it goes sometimes
when you’re a member of a society.
If you find that woman who likes to
be cat-called, go for it, just do it
behind closed doors. When you’re
in public, respect the physical and
mental space of others.
Don’t limit yourself to being a man.
Be a mensch. Be a human being.
ROTAMIRROR
ROTAMIRROR May
May Issue
Issue 2019
2019
15