TAKE CONTROL
"... given up …" The kill shot. Nobody wants to be a quitter. The word " surrender " is baked into our DNA as something to resist.
"... on [ specific thing ]?" The precision strike. You ' re not being vague. You ' re naming exactly what ' s at stake.
HOW TO DEPLOY IT
Your prospect went dark after seeing your proposal. Here ' s what most people do:
Subject: " Following up on our conversation " Body: " Hi John, just wanted to check in and see if you had any questions about the proposal..."
That ' s not going to incentivize a response. Here ' s what you do instead:
Subject: " Have you given up on solving this problem?" That’ s it. Your first move is done. Now, you wait for them to respond before saying anything else. Don’ t worry … they will respond quickly, so you won’ t be waiting for long.
THE IN-PERSON CONVERSATIONAL SEQUENCE
1. Drop the question. " Have you given up on moving this forward?"
2. Shut up. Give them 6-10 seconds of silence. That space will give them time to think through what you’ ve just said, and you’ ll get an answer that is more thoughtful as a result.
3. Mirror their language. If they say, " The budget got complicated," you say, " Complicated?"
4. Label what you ' re hearing. " It sounds like timing became the real issue here."
5. Get a " That ' s Right." When they say those two words, you know you’ ve begun to establish trust.
BEHIND THE MAGIC
This question preserves their autonomy. " No " feels like freedom. " Yes " often feels like a trap. When you ask if they ' ve given up, you ' re giving them an easy out, and paradoxically, that makes them more likely to stay in.
It unlocks intelligence. Their " No " usually comes with an explanation. " No, we haven ' t given up, but..." That " but " is pure gold. It tells you exactly what obstacle you need to remove.
It generates momentum. Once their real concerns are on the table, you can start solving actual problems instead of shadow boxing with silence.
YOUR NEXT MOVE
Next time you ' re staring at a dead inbox, don ' t beg for attention. Don ' t send another " just checking in " email. Ask the magic Label:
" Have you given up on …?"
Then step back and watch them rush back to the table.
That ' s how you turn silence into conversation, one " No " at a time. +
CHRIS VOSS
CEO, AUTHOR, NEGOTIATION EXPERT
Chris Voss is CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of the national best-seller " Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It," which was named one of the seven best books on negotiation. A 24- year veteran of the FBI, Chris retired as the lead international kidnapping negotiator. Drawing on his experience in high-stakes negotiations, his company specializes in solving business communication problems using hostage negotiation solutions. Their negotiation methodology focuses on discovering the“ Black Swans,” small pieces of information that have a huge effect on an outcome. Chris and his team have helped companies secure and close better deals, save money, and solve internal communication problems.
Chris has been featured in TIME, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Inc., Fast Company, Fortune, The Washington Post, SUCCESS
Magazine, Squawk Box, CNN, ABC News, and more.
24 • SpectrumInsGroup. com