ROSE, ROSE, THORN, BUD pumping through our blood, allows us to release the hard, and surrender into peaceful sleep.
SO WHAT IS ROSE, ROSE, THORN, BUD?
A Rose is a gratitude, highlight, or tiny positive from the day. Getting to the meeting late but the boss getting there even later. The fact that he wrote me back. The half hour of silence I got when both kids were napping.
The second Rose is just that: another small win, tiny pleasure, or highlight from the day. How cold the shower was at the end of my run. When our song came on right after I picked you up from work. The feeling of her sleeping on my chest.
Science has proven roses to be good for us! In 2003, the foundational study“ Counting Blessings Versus Burdens” from Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough showed that students who wrote down“ gratitudes”— versus test groups who wrote down“ hassles” or“ events”— weren’ t just happier but also physically healthier after a ten-week period. Pretty big deal!
Then it’ s time for a Thorn: something that didn’ t go well, a moment of suffering, or the hardest part of your day. We need space to vent, process, and be heard to help us move through the emotion. Still not hearing back from the doctor. Texting something snarky to my sister. Falling into a social media hole.
Thorns are also proven to be good for us! A 2006 meta-analysis by Joanne Frattaroli, published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, shows that writing about emotional experiences, including negative ones, improves well-being and reduces stress. Think of sharing thorns as helping to crystalize and eject what’ s prickling us inside. And one last thing: a 2001 paper by Stephen Lepore, published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, helpfully adds that if you’ re coping with anything traumatic— and a lot of us are, let’ s be honest— sharing negative emotions helps healing.
And then, finally, a Bud: something you’ re looking forward to. Tonight, this weekend, even fifty years from now! Making a stack of pancakes on a Saturday. When my dad’ s surgery finally gets scheduled. Renting a villa in Morocco when I turn a hundred years old.
A 2005 paper from Sonja Lyubormirsky, Kennon Sheldon, and David Schkade titled“ Pursuing Happiness,” published in the Review of General Psychology, shows that setting and anticipating future goals and events makes you happier. Buds are good for us too!
This dead-simple practice is like wiping a wet shammy over the blackboard of your mind. Do it at the dinner table, with Grandma over the phone, or with your partner before bed. Use it as a simple positive pressure to connect, share, and reflect. Nothing motivates like feeling the magic of connection and compassion.
Yes, happiness is a choice. But it’ s how we get there that matters. With higherthan-ever rates of societal anxiety, depression, and loneliness, these little practices can really stick, because we really do them, because they’ re really simple.
This practice helps us continue to inch towards happiness.
We hope it does the same for you.
You can easily incorporate Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud into your daily life using our new journal, Two Minute Evenings. +
NEIL PASRICHA
Neil Pasricha thinks, writes, and speaks about intentional living.
All his current work focuses under themes of gratitude, happiness, failure, resilience, connection, and trust.
Neil is the author of 10 books and journals including: The Book of Awesome, a spinning rolodex of simple pleasures based on his 100-million-hit, awardwinning blog 1000 Awesome Things, The Happiness Equation, Awesome Is Everywhere, Two-Minute Mornings, and You Are Awesome. Neil’ s books are New York Times and # 1 international bestsellers, have spent over 200 weeks on bestseller lists, and have sold over 2,000,000 copies across dozens of languages.
Neil also gives over 50 speeches a year at places like Harvard, SXSW, and Shopify. His first TED talk“ The 3 A’ s of Awesome” is ranked one of the 10 Most Inspiring of all time.
Neil hosts an Apple“ Best of” awardwinning podcast called 3 Books where he is on an‘ epic 15-year-long quest to uncover the 1000 most formative books in the world.’
Neil shares his current writing on this blog and in a series of newsletters read by over 100,000 people.
Neil’ s pro bono work focuses on youth literacy and mental health.
Neil has degrees from Queen’ s University and Harvard Business School.
Neil lives in Toronto with his family.