RELATIONSHIPS
INTIMACY WITHOUT PROXIMITY IS NOT NEW .
People faced and overcame the challenge of intimacy without proximity throughout history . Those who cared deeply for another , or wished to do so , overcame distance ( proximity ) and time delays to create intimate relationships .
Before writing , they did so with messengers and go-betweens who spoke for them to the person with whom they sought intimacy . Writing first appeared some 5,500 years ago in Mesopotamia . Not long after , someone wrote the first intimate letter to a friend or lover . The art of letter-writing developed into a highly valued talent over the centuries . Skillful writers knew how to create intimacy without proximity . People separated by great distances and months between letters were able to meet , develop relationships as lifelong friends , or fall in love . Correspondence between US President John Adams and his wife Abigail Adams exemplifies intimacy without proximity .
In the twentieth century , the telephone enabled people to communicate in real-time regardless of distance . Most people saw it as an incredible , life-changing innovation , but some predicted that it would irreparably damage relationships . An elderly gentleman told my mother , “ People will stop visiting and only talk on that contraption !” Similarly , there has been widespread angst that smartphones will permanently damage relationships . The critics tend to be short-sighted . Innovations are typically misused and abused until we adapt to them . We mature as we use them over more extended periods . Most of us have an intimate friend or family member who lives far away who we rarely see in person , yet we preserve our intimacy with them through the phone , email , texts , or social media .
The metaverse vision can empower intimacy without proximity . Forget staring into a screen most of your life . That is not what is in store for twenty-first century humanity . Screens and keyboards will give way to voice and visual experiences through virtual and augmented reality and holographic images , and later to only thought-based brain to computer interfaces . It would be a mistake to underrate the importance of what this profound change in relating will mean to your life and career , but you must act .
DEVELOP INTIMACY WITHOUT PROXIMITY USING DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS .
Developing intimacy without proximity will become a recognized and essential career and life skill in the next ten years . Both digital and in-person relationships will increase in value as life and career are spent more in a digital world . Skills at building intimacy in one medium will enhance the other .
Commit to learning everything possible about intimacy now . The resources are all around you , and most are free . Learn from people with high emotional IQs who seem to develop intimacy with others effortlessly . Learn from the abundance of books and online content . Study the rich art and history of letter-writing . Select a friend or coworker that is physically distant from you who shares a desire for a richer , more intimate relationship . Experiment with breaking the real and perceived barriers to digital intimacy . Learn together and then apply what you learn to other digital relationships . The quality of your life and others can be enhanced . +
Ben Lytle is a serial entrepreneur and healthcare innovator known for being ahead of the curve . He launched five successful companies , including two on the New York Stock Exchange . The best known is Anthem , one of three leading U . S . health plans with a market capitalization placing it in the top 30 of the Fortune 500 . He also founded Acordia , Inc ., which became the world ’ s 7th largest insurance broker .
He is the author of the new book , The Potentialist : Your Life in the New Reality of the Next Thirty Years , with two companion books to follow in 2023 and 2024 . The series is intended as a guidebook for success during the fast-changing , turbulent , and opportunity-rich times ahead — named The Fourth Industrial Revolution by the World Economic Forum . Ben has provided testimony to congressional committees and state legislatures and advised state and federal executive branches on healthcare issues .
Lytle ’ s devotion to individual and collective human potential through accelerated wisdom guides his writing , speaking , entrepreneurial energy and investments . He believes people and organizations today underestimate the extent and speed with which the world will change . Time to adapt and prepare is being compressed , opportunities are being missed , and there will be unnecessary suffering unless prompt action is taken .
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