RELATIONSHIPS
" THE WIDESPREAD BELIEF TODAY IS THAT DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS DETERIORATE OR EVEN DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS ."
The metaverse opens a new chapter in human relationships . Soon anyone in the world with little or no understanding of technology will be able to digitally connect to anyone , anywhere , in any language to share experiences as if in-person . Let that soak in for a moment . My book , The Potentialist I : Your Future in the New Reality of the Next Thirty Years , describes this digitally enabled world and how to adapt and succeed . This article introduces one of the necessary adaptive skills — forming intimate relationships digitally with people you may never meet in person .
WILL RELATIONSHIPS IN A DIGITAL AGE BE MORE OR LESS VALUED AND MEANINGFUL ?
Despite three million years of innovation steadily improving the quality of life and often saving them , the first reaction of most people is to distrust it . Perhaps they do so because unintended and sometimes unfortunate circumstances always accompany innovation . The widespread belief today is that digital communications deteriorate or even destroy relationships .
COVID-19 pandemic requirements transformed how and where we work , learn , worship , and obtain medical and mental health care using video conferencing apps like Zoom , Google Meet , Microsoft Teams , and others . Many people felt that their video conferencing pandemic experiences were devoid of the unique qualities of in-person experiences that COVID-19 prevented .
In fairness , however , the rapid adaptation in the pandemic to videoconferencing in its relatively crude early versions is a tribute to human ingenuity and resiliency . Now marry that adaptive skill to the promise of the metaverse enhanced relationships in a decade or two . The likely outcome is that digital communications will expand the number and depth of relationships possible while making in-person experiences more valued and richer . Technology alone will not improve relationships , however . Every innovation requires new adaptive skills and behavior . Relationship mindset and skills will need to adapt to maximize the potential of the technology to broaden and enrich relationships .
MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE MORE CRITICAL IN A DIGITAL WORLD .
Meaningful relationships are essential to physical and mental well-being and even life expectancy based on numerous studies by respected medical institutions . Families , commerce , and society rely on meaningful relationships to function .
Being receptive to meaningful relationships and knowing how to form them are required career and life skills . Those skills will be more critical in the future because you will live longer and have many more jobs and careers in a mostly digital world .
Relationships become meaningful when imbued with intimacy , a misunderstood and misused term in contemporary society . Don ’ t be surprised if its meaning is fuzzy . It is frequently and incorrectly equated to love , sexual intercourse , an emotional state , or romantic relationships . Intimacy is far more than any of these .
INTIMACY DEFINED .
Intimacy ’ s synonym “ kinship ” ( meaning “ from one seed ”) clarifies its meaning . Intimacy connects us to others so strongly that we experience oneness , indivisibility , inseparability , unlimited connectedness , as if from a shared origin . Intimacy enriches relationships because we truly see the other person and connect and share the joy of being together . Intimacy sets a new standard for relationships . We never feel alone if we have at least one intimate relationship .
Intimacy is a precondition of love but is not identical . Intimacy has its own qualities that parties must share to develop and thrive , including trust , desire to deepen the relationship , engagement , values ( especially about relationships ), and shared concern or empathy for each other ’ s welfare . Even if all these are present , intimacy may prove elusive , like love . It cannot be made to happen ; the conditions are created where it may happen . You may be unsure how to foster intimacy in a digital environment even if you have intimate , meaningful relationships .
INTIMACY WITHOUT PROXIMITY .
The classic fourteenth century poem Inferno by Italian writer Dante Alighieri describes hell as lost souls seeking escape but unable to assist or comfort each other . Author Melissa Bank wrote in The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing : “ Dante ’ s definition of hell . . . proximity without intimacy .” The challenge of digital intimacy is the inverse , intimacy without proximity .
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