Renton Woman Magazine November/December 2015 | Page 46

slacker, or like a drain to society when you’re out and about in the middle of the day. I’ve tried not to make too much eye contact and I’m using my “I’m all about business” tone like I’m rushing off to my next appointment. Hard to do in a hat and leggings...see #3 6. Retirement means not knowing the answer to the question “Employer?” - uhhh, still working on my reply to this one. 7. When you’ve been insulated in one company for decades and now have a few months to play around if you want to, this sort of retirement means not knowing what employers are looking for when you do send out resumes. I know on my end, lots of eye-rolling (actually, maybe on the receiver’s end too) and tension headaches from scrolling through jobs - which equals more couch time, which equals pajamas. 8. Retirement, right now, means staying in the house most days. Which also means not quite knowing how to interact with others when you do go out. Love seeing the people, love knowing the world is still spinning but the sounds that come along with that - yikes! Hearing paper rattle, horns blowing and people chewing or just existing, throws me wayyy off! (Maybe I need a street noise 46 RENTON WOMAN MAGAZINE | recording to get ready for each outing. Hmmm - business idea!) 9. This retirement means not really wanting to look for a job right now, because I do need downtime, but also means having to do the job search dance because it’s the only way to access the unemployment benefits I’ve earned. Should I mention feeling seriously inept when I have to reread - more than once, the online instructions to apply?! (Gosh, I hope I pushed all the right buttons!) 10. Retirement means really knowing that the government knows alot of your personal business. Filing for unemployment makes me feel a little exposed. Yes, I knew the government knew about all of my dimes before - they always got their cut, but I never had to empty my pockets right in front of Big Brother! He usually just took his share, like a thieving sibling, while I was asleep! 11. Retirement has also put my mirrors out of work. Nothing like being surprised, once you’ve actually made it to your car, that you’ve missed an eyebrow waxing! My dear, sweet family members must not have had the courage to mention the unibrow! Arrrrgghh!!! I think I’m more mentally spent trying to figure out my new way of RentonWomanMagazine.com