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Before Thanksgiving dinner could properly digest, many American minds were already on Black Friday shopping, good deals, and Christmas presents. The holiday season begins with all the decorations and pomp and circumstance, carols playing in stores as you do your regular grocery shopping, and radio stations dedicated entirely to playing holiday songs 24 hours a day. For many people this season brings joy, enthusiasm, and cheer, but for some couples who practice different religions, care must be taken to avoid stress and walking on eggshells.
I collected some advice for those readers who may be experiencing greater stress than joy during November and December holidays.
One friend who is dating a Jehovah’s Witness believes that tolerance and mutual respect is the key. “I'm dating a Jehovah witness, and we agreed that we will respect each other's beliefs and never make that about us (as a couple). [Our religion] is only part of who we are, and as long as Christ is a part of our lives we can overlook the rest.” She admits that since she has never been one for trees, lights, and fanfare, that makes the situation even easier, but she does indulge in gift-giving!
A relative of mine has grandchildren whose mother is a Jehovah’s Witness. Although they are no longer together, she and her son still respect the mom’s beliefs and won’t send presents or cards to her house. On the other hand, grandmother and dad do celebrate the children’s birthdays and holidays when the kids are visiting with them in their homes.
Dr. Michael Kaplan, on-call child psychologist for The Family Groove, an online family magazine, says in an interview about this topic that creating family rituals which include the important values and consistencies in the two faiths are important for families with two religious persuasions. He explains that it is not the act of practicing two different rituals during the holidays that confuses children, but the lack of transparency and communication between the parents and children that may cause anxiety.
The bottom line is that the holiday season does not have to be stressful just because one parent celebrates in a different way than another. Parents should have open communication so that silent expectations and the resulting disappointments do not negatively impact the children…or the parents!
Happy Holidays everyone, and to my family in particular,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Advice for your life with Soulbalm