I have noticed a common trait among healthy families. That trait is this: children who have parents that are open and honest, transparent as I state in my title, about their faults and failures appear to do better in life. I know that seems like a vague generalization, and in a way it is, but I believe it to be true. Now, I'm fully aware that there may be times where children need to be protected from something and in doing so some caution is required. But as a whole, transparent parents produce children more equipped to live better lives.
Let me explain a bit further. Parents who are not trying to be perfect, or paint a picture that they're perfect, have kids who end up trusting and respecting them more. It's like "vulnerability and openness act as the soil that fosters security."* And if I were forced to choose what quality or trait I most often pick up on regarding children of open, honest, genuine parents I'd have to agree with Donald Miller, author of Scary Close, and say it's that they have a healthy sense of security.**
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by Jeffrey Hagan
Transparent Parents
Right at the onset I need to confess I am not a parent. However, I do have parents. A problem I've come across every once in a while in ministry and counseling is that some families (parents) don't think you can possibly help them if you've never been a parent yourself. This is a fallacy. One of my favorite professors, while pursuing my under graduate degree, was a very successful marriage and family therapist who specialized in children and did not have any of her own. She was a great teacher and great therapist. I know we can't learn parenting through books alone, but relationships are relationships and it's not as if though we are sent out to counsel and pastor without proper training, at least ideally.
With that "confession" out of the way I'd like to simply touch on an observation I have made over the years. I have no official research to back this up, I did not do thorough study of this issue before writing this piece, it's just an observation I have made. If you prefer, call it an opinion. Either way, I think it's valid and can be helpful as you parent your children and as you relate with others as well.
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