In 2014, my husband and I were anxiously awaiting the birth of our soon to be adopted son. I was in the delivery room with the birth mother. I watched as she delivered the most beautiful baby boy ever. She allowed me to cut his cord, and I was the first person to hold him besides the doctors and nurses. I think he immediately became accustomed to my voice, or so I imagined. My husband and I spent the next couple of days in the hospital nursery visiting our new baby. We named him after my husband. We took him home, and our daughter became big sister right away. Our family was complete.
We were in love. We were in love from the minute the adoption agency called to tell us about the baby. The problem was love. We were so in love we forgot to think. We forget that adoption has a business side. We forgot to make sure the story made sense to us. We pushed aside those little nagging thoughts that woke us up in the middle of the night.
What's Love Got to Do With it?
By Ramona Burnett
A few weeks after bringing our baby home I stood in my living room and watched as a lab tech swabbed the inside of my baby’s cheek for a paternity test. When the lab called with the results, I dropped to my knees. Within hours, the agency representative was at our home to pick up my baby. The birth mother had not been honest about the paternity of the child. But we knew in the back of our mind that something was not quite right. Our hearts, our love, convinced our minds that it would all be okay. It wasn’t okay.
In preparation for our baby boy we bought every gadget known to man. We cleared out my office and created an adorable nursery within days. The nursery and all of the gadgets hid something in our home, though. We were deluding ourselves. No matter how prepared we seemed, we were not ready. Just a year prior we had adopted our daughter, and she was just becoming settled. I was a full-time student and had recently been laid off from my job. We were adjusting our lifestyle to live off of one income. We were far from ready. Love made us willing, but not ready.
So what does love have to do with adoption? Everything! I will love that baby forever. Love moved his family to share pictures of him and send me updates on how he is doing. I know he is blessed and happy. Because of love, I know that we will adopt again and maybe a couple more times.
What will we do differently? First, we are going to pray and wait! We cannot miss what God has for us. Last time we automatically assumed the situation was perfect for us, but it just was not our time. Second, we will ask more questions. We will be sensitive to the birth parents, but we will get answers to any nagging questions. Lastly, we will allow love to help us communicate with all involved, protect our family and embrace our new addition.
Always, Always Adopt Love.
Ramona Burnett is a wife, mother and a published author with Imani Faith Publishing. www.facebook.com/ramona.pearceyburnett