RAPPORT ISSUE 5 | Page 20

RAPPORT Issue 5 (August 2020) individuals concerned have developed good relationships and, whilst the listening did not always solve the problem, the outcome was nevertheless improved through their emotional connection and appreciation. Conversely, Stephen et al. (2008: 454) demonstrate how a poor tutor-tutee relationship can result in students feeling disconnected with their university: '… lost in an uncaring system [with] their educational experience [being] no more than going through the motions until graduation'. Personal tutoring that fails is often (although not always) because tutors choose not to listen or do not know how to listen to their students. Risks to individuals and to institutions of poor personal tutoring are high where 'fake listening' carried out by casual listeners who are 'nonpresent' (Jones, 2011: 99), miss or avoid crucial cues in the conversation, and as a result provide little or no support for the individual in need of it. In any case, Yale (2019: 542) suggests that 'poor personal tutoring is worse than not providing personal tutoring at all', reinforcing the view that listening needs to be understood and practiced in a 'healthy university'. Active listening in personal tutoring - defined by Lochtie et al. (2018: 42) as the tutor: 'asking intelligent questions and listening to / observing the responses … [and being able to] interpret clear verbal and non-verbal messages' - is central to our discussion about listening and is a central interpersonal skill. Davis and Cooper (2001) echo the need for tutors to be able to develop interpersonal relations with tutees and be able to discuss personal values, concerns and goals. Robbins' (2012: 218) reinforcement of the need for interpersonal skills in the role of personal tutor sees 'relational knowledge' of the tutee as crucial and relies heavily on an ability to listen. Wheeler and Birtle (1993: 33) suggest that listening needs to become part of the repertoire of personal tutoring skills, with an ability to: '… hold on to the temptation to interrupt ... [and to have] patience … until the student has had time to unfold their story'. In our case studies, it is clear that personal tutors practice and reflect on the interpersonal nature of tutoring, in particular appreciating that the relationship is built on trust, and that trust is based on active listening. Rawlins and Rawlins (2005:18) argue that the personal tutor relationship needs to be based around 'civic friendship' where the tutoring philosophy: '… aspires to developing student responsibility and initiative, listening to them and encouraging them as a friend would to follow their dreams and take steps to make those dreams a reality'. Achieving a caring attitude relies on being able to listen. Hester (2008) suggests that tutors who are good listeners facilitate their students' self-exploration and problem-solving skills and in effect act as a 'sounding board' whilst Nadler and Simerly (2006) explore the potential connection between listening and trust in personal tutoring and conclude that trust 19