Jodi’s Corner
The British sense of humor
1. I got invited to a party and up and down and replies:
was told to dress to kill. Appar- /“Your sense of humor!” /
ently a turban, beard, and a (Hospital visiting hours are5:00
backpack wasn't what they to 6:00.)
had in mind.
6. A chap's wife's back on the
2. After a night of drink, drugs warpath again.She was up for
and wild sex, John woke up to making a sex movie last night,
find himself next to a really and all he did was suggest they
ugly woman. That's when he should hold auditions for her
realized he had made it home part.
(His viewing will beSaturday
safely.
from 7:00 till 8:30.)
3. Seven wheelchair athletes
have been banned from the 7. I've accidentally swallowed
Para-Olympics
after
they some Scrabble tiles. My next
crap could spell disaster.
tested positive for WD40.
4. A teenage boy asks his
granny: /“Have you seen my
pills? They were labeled
LSD?”/ Granny replies: /“ The
hell with the pills, did you see
the dragons in the kitchen?”/
bags, and as I walked out the
front door. She screamed: /"I
wish you a slow and painful
death,
you
bastard!"/
I
replied:/"Oh, so now you want
me to stay!”/
10. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. When
we went to the fair last night it
took me 3 hours to get her off
the Ferris wheel.
11 . The other night, my wife
asked me how many
women I'd slept with. I told
her: /"Only you. All the others
kept me awake all night!"/
8 . I woke up this morning at
(The doctor says I should be
11:30 , and could sense some- able to see again in about ten
thing was wrong. I got down- days.The broken arm will take
stairs and found the wife face about a month.)
down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't
know what to do. Then I
remembered McDonalds now
serve breakfast all day.
5. Wife gets naked and asks
hubby: /“What turns you on
more, my pretty face or my
sexy body?”/ Hubby looks her 9 .
My missus packed my
The stella
awards
For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are
named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully
sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she
purchased coffee. You remember, she took the
lid off the coffee and put it between her knees
while she was driving. Who would ever think one