1- specail day
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband,“ I bet you don’ t know what day this is.”“ Of course I do,” hethe doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1PM, a foil wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’ t wait for her husband to come home. exclaimed.“ I’ ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day.
2- Bigger Breasts
A couple has been married for many years, and one day the man tells his wife that he wishes she had bigger breasts.“ But how am I going to get bigger breasts?” she asks.“ That’ s simple”, he says,“ Just rub your breasts with toilet paper every day”.“ And that would do it?” the surprised wife wonders.“ Well,” answers the husband,“ it sure did work on your
3- Rich hooker
One day a man went on a business trip to Florida. He had seen this hooker and he asked,“ How much for a hand job?” The hooker replied,“ 100 Bucks.” The man said“ 100 Bucks, that’ s a lot of got damn money.” So the hooker pulled him to the side and said,“ See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs.” So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had. The next day he sees her and asks,“ How much for a head job?” She said,“ 200 dollars.”“ 200 dollars, that’ s a lot of money.”
She pulled him to the side and said,“ You see that yacht by the pier, I paid for that yacht by giving head jobs.” So he gives her the money, and gets the best head job of his life On his last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says“ The hand job was good, the head job was great, how much for the whole package.”“ 1000 dollars.’“ 1000 dollars that’ s a lot of god damn money.” So she pulled him to side and said,“ You see that island, I could afford that if I had a vagina.”
4- watergate honeymoon
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned, and asks,“ What if the place is still bugged?” The groom says,“ I’ ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally, he says, screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds,“ How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?” The groom says,“ Why are you asking me all of these questions?” The hotel manager says,“ Well, the couple in the room UNDER you complained that the chandelier fell on them.”
5- honesty
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.“ As I’ m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of must be beyond question.” She leaned forward.“ Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?”“ Honest?” replied the job prospect.“ Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’ m so honest that my father lent me $ 15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried“ Impressive. And what sort of case was that?” The lawyer squirmed in his sit and admitted,“ He sued me for the money” 10