Five second rule to
Take care to check for splinters
include extra five seconds
THE government is to tackle food
poverty by officially doubling the
five allowable seconds for food
dropped on the floor.
The move could see millions of
pounds’ worth of pizza slices,
nachos and ice cream reclassified
as edible.
A Department of Health
spokesman said: “We knew that
any dropped food item is perfectly
safe to eat if retrieved within five The extension is one of a raft of
measures introduced to stop food
seconds.
waste, including a ‘three strikes’
law giving mandatory life
“This applied irrespective of
sentences to anyone repeatedly
whether the surface was carpet,
wood or whatever and how clean buying and not eating bagged
salad.
it was.
Officials have also brought in a
“But further research has shown sliding scale for sell-by dates
based on income, with any
that germs are actually even
slower to notice the food and leap household earning less than
onto it than previously thought, so £12,000 instructed to ignore them
and eat away.
we are able to double that limit.
“And obviously if you’re drunk –
which boosts natural immunities
to bacteria, colds and gastric
illness – that can be extended to
60 seconds provided a pet hasn’t
started licking it.”
The spokesman continued:
“There’s no food crisis and there’s
no need for food banks, which
aren’t proper banks anyway
because they don’t pay their
workers huge food bonuses.
“Now shut up and eat your dinner
or you won’t get any pudding.”