on with their life relationships would be better, financial situations would resolve themselves and in general their mental and physical well-being would improve. Friends and family may have even told them to “get over it” or to “let it go and move on” but they can’t seem to do so. The situation is impossible and the question comes back to “how do I let go”?
In reality the answer is quite simple – choose to let go; choose to move forward. That’s right, make a choice to let go. When we find ourselves seemingly stuck in an emotional or spiritual hole that engulfs our being we have made a choice (conscious or otherwise) to not move forward. It sounds harsh but we have the choice to let go of those things that do not serve us. We also have the choice to hang on to those things as well. Either way, in needs to be understood it is a choice, our own choice, and no one else’s.
Like the “pet” in my original story, when a person chooses to hang on to something that is harmful they are giving permission to outside influences to take control of their life. That’s right, permission is given – it is the only way the feelings and issues that adversely affect a person can have any influence in an individual’s life. The question becomes how to stop giving permission which leads back to the question “how do I let go”.
First and foremost, a person has to recognize that things are out of control; that something is adversely affecting their life, relationships and ability to lead a normal life. Is there something that occupies their thoughts most of the time? If so, do they direct their life around those feelings and thoughts in such a manner that it begins to harm how they function? I a person can recognize this one fact they are on the right path to healing. Unfortunately we sometimes don’t know that our life is in a tailspin. Our friends know and hopefully they will care enough to express what they see. If someone is constantly stating that they don’t want to hear the complaint or story any more, they want something else to talk about then listen. Listen with the head and the heart if possible. Listen with compassion for those talking if that isn’t possible. But above all listen. People who care will say something when things are wrong because they want to see their loved ones happy AND healthy.
I know from my own personal experience if listening doesn’t occur then people stop coming around. They don’t want to be dragged down the path of self-destruction. If this happens, then a reassessment of what is going on and how life is being approached needs to take place. Why would friends leave if I was okay? That was what I had to ask and I was the only one that could answer the question. I needed to let go of what was destroying me from within and find a new focus. I needed to find a new companion to bring into my life and nurture.
Once the choice to let go has been made and made in earnest the process can begin. It isn’t easy, it isn’t always the same for everyone but it does happen once it is asked for. Yes, that is the second part. First is choosing to let go and second is asking permission to do so. Who is asked? The Self. The Self has held onto the thoughts and emotions and become much attached to them. It is the self that has fed and cared for what has happened in an individual’s life. The greatest influences and deterrents are lodged firmly in the self and it is there that permission to let go is asked. Don’t be afraid to do it out loud, sometimes it’s the only way to get the attention of the self. But make sure to do it, and don’t be surprised if the process is uncomfortable.
Now that the choice has been made, permission has been asked for it is time to figure out the process. I like a physical process and for me I understand that I don’t have to do it alone. How’s that you might ask? I ask for help from what I perceive as larger more powerful than myself. It helps to believe that the divine (however a person sees that) will listen to when I talk to them. I only ask to find the strength within me to do what I know needs to be done. Inner strength has kept the issue with you; allow inner strength to help rid your life of it.
So, here we go… first is making the choice to let go, asking permission to do so, finding the inner strength with a little help and finally physically/mentally letting go. I can be done in whatever fashion suits the person and the situation. Go yell at a tree. They tend to be good listeners and not yell back. It releases tension and anger and gives a physical and emotional method of letting go. Write a letter to the universe or the individual that you need to deal with expressing the emotional bondage that you have been in. The act of writing (pen to paper) is an energetic release from the body to the paper. Once written burn it and allow the smoke to carry all that was written away to the ethos. Physical release of what once was bound inside the self. A third manner is to visualize yourself, your old self, haggard and weighed down with the emotions and thoughts that have held you back. See them standing there with you and bid them farewell as they walk down one path of a forked road. Wave to them and watch the old, burdened self disappear into the distance. Once they are gone see yourself walk down the other path; one that is new and full of possibilities without the burden of old emotional baggage.
These are only a few ways in which to release what is holding you back. All of them will work but they will also fail if the choice to let go has never been made. So take stock in life, see if there is something that needs to be let go and choose to do so. Give yourself permission to have a wonderful happy life and find the inner strength to move forward. It is scary to think about, but the alternative is even worse. Once done work through the physical shedding of the energies that are hold you back and begin to move forward into your new life and renewed outlook.