PULP: JUNE/JULY 2013 PULP: NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2013 | Page 17

Date: 2 Date: 3 Occupation: Businessman Location: Pizza Hut Date 2 irritated me from the moment his abrupt phone call woke me up that morning. He rang to enquire as to my whereabouts, as he was ‘on the way to see me’. ‘You’re breaking all forms of social and dating etiquette!’ is what I longed to express, but my Mandarin capabilities failed me. Instead, I set him straight with a firm ‘No’. I’d met this guy a few times before and knew he was neither a rapist nor a murderer, so I let his slightly erratic behavior pass and continued to make arrangements for our date. He insisted that by no means would he be free before 7pm (I presumed he’d probably already arranged an earlier date, the two-timing slut). Arriving at precisely 7pm, I rang to say I was at the entrance. To my utter dismay, the chap standing before me was not the beer-loving, tattooed guy I’d met in 88 Bar a few months before, but a gormlesslooking random I’d never set eyes on. How had this happened? Had they swapped phone numbers? Confused, but not wanting to stand in the way of my dinner, we went inside and ordered. After a slice of pizza and a mouthful of mashed potato, he announced that he was full, but content just to sit and watch me eat. Half an hour into our date, he answered his phone for the third time, then muttered something about ‘mother’ and ‘hospital.’ He apologized, paid the bill and swiftly left. So there I was, stunned yet delighted to be rid of the awkward silence. I stuffed my face with the remaining pizza, drank the rest of the wine and took myself home. He later texted to apologize again and asked if there was the chance he could be my boyfriend in the future. Occupation: Government Employee Location: Posh Chinese Restaurant When Date 3 arrived to pick me up, I politely informed him that I’d invited a friend – I wasn’t prepared to be left eating solo again after last night and it had come to my attention that bringing friends on dates is culturally acceptable in China, as demonstrated by Date 1. Date 3 didn’t seem at all perplexed and we continued on our journey, first collecting my friend and then making our way to the restaurant. As it happened, Date 3 had also invited a bunch of his closest pals along who were already waiting in a private dining room. We enjoyed a range of local delicacies whilst my friend and I were invited to toast our new companions on an hourly basis, smashing a few bottles of wine along the way. Following our meal, we left the restaurant. To my absolute horror, Date 3 tried to give me 500 RMB, claiming it was for the taxi ride home. I argued for what seemed like an eternity that the journey home would cost me less than 20 kuai but he put the money in my bag anyway and