PowerCulture Magazine Apr 2013 Apr. 2013 | Page 8

founder ’ s note

Mom ’ s Waiting ...

I

used to think my limitations could only be unlocked when I became worthy . That there was some status , some position that I ’ d one day attain , when I had developed enough skills , the right contacts , the proper look , confidence , and had gotten permission .
I put many of my ideas , my thoughts , my dreams on hold , but articulated them neatly in a journal of things I wrote but never thought I ’ d actually attempt and tucked them neatly in my drawer . I made sure to never add dates or names , and wrote in crypted code because even in my private moments , my most intimate thoughts , in my being , I didn ’ t want to be exposed as a failure or reminded of what I didn ’ t achieve .
I didn ’ t cry for years , like 10 . I thought this made me strong . I hid behind a proper , perfect mask . I hid everything I actually wanted .
Coloring well within the lines , I keep my dreams , my goals quiet , attainable , non-ambitious , comfortable to my friends , my family , to myself . I never expanded , walked on the edge or even looked at the edge .
8 POWERCULTURE APR2013