It is true you have a plan under way to deal with the Asians and the Black people as well ? Twaddle The Asians , Madam , will be dealt with under phase two - ‘ Welcome to Sunny Greenland Programme ’. Kirkspringer And the Blacks ? Twaddle Phase three , which is away by far the most important phase of my momentous plan for ethnic change but more of that later . But firstly , was it not silly campaigning by people such as yourself that caused Sergeant Duncan Buttass to take down a prominent sign from my cork factory ? Kirkspringer Yes - and as far as I remember that sign read “ No Blacks , no pets , no Irish !’ Cretin I once had a pet Irishman Twaddle Actually it was a Leprechaun - a common garden gnome , but please do not interrupt my trend of through , Cecil . As I was relating , Miss Kirk - whatever your name is , when my hour comes I will have that law enforcement officer return it to my premises . Pickles Kirkspringer turned to the crowd : Kirkspringer I don ’ t believe this ! I just don ’ t believe this little pillock . Twaddle I would advise caution . I suggest you be more selective in your use of words - MADAM . Kirkspringer Are you threatening me ? Are you threatening the freedom of the press ? Twaddle Look around you ! What do you see ? I ’ ll tell you what you see : a hundred people who agree with what I say . Pickles I was about to shout out that I didn ’ t agree but I noticed Cecil Cretin glaring at me and decided to save my strength for him - later . Kirkspringer started on the man with the fat ass , again : Kirkspringer So how do you propose to deal with our substantial population of black people - in your so-called Phase three , Mister Babble ? Twaddle Twaddle ! Is the name . Marmaduke Twaddle , but let ' s be friends , feel free to call me Duke .. Kirkspringer I think not , Mister Twaddle , it would be most inappropriate considering my deep-seated hatred of you . Now , please answer my question . Pickles Marmaduke Twaddle turned again to the crowd : Twaddle It is my belief that the Emancipation Act of eighteen hundred and seven was a monumental error . Kirkspringer That ’ s to do with slavery ! No I don ’ t believe it , you can ’ t be serious , don ’ t tell me you think the Slavery Act should be abolished ? Twaddle Madam , I urge caution . Do not try putting words into my mouth or I will have to summon my solicitor friend , Mister Finley Bottom Pickles Mister Finley Bottom didn ’ t sound at all keen :