Pickles Two‘ hung-over ' Cidermen began pegging down a tatty old canvass tent. Ciderman Hi! That ' s my frigging foot you ' ve stuck that peg into. Pickles The main hoard of gypsies pulled‘ Charlie’ s Chippie Van’ back into place, trapping‘ Army Group East’ with their flies open.‘ Field Marshall’ Marmaduke Twaddle was not found lacking in that great hour of need. He launched Hamilton Conk and his reserve army into a counter attack. But when that looked like failing he beat a hasty retreat down the far slope of the South Heap and headed for the toilets in Daffodil Place. Cretin Wait for me! Good friends again? Good friends you and me, Duke? Twaddle Get the Harley Robinson Special. Don’ t start it up. Push it silently and follow me. Quickly now, if you wish to survive this dark day. Pickles Cecil Cretin retrieved the Harley Robinson Special and the two little men mounted it like bats out of hell. But the Harley Robinson Special toppled and sent the two deserters cart-wheeling down the slagheap. Twaddle tore his shirt on a bramble bush- almost severing his left nipple. It was then that I took the second photograph as he dabbled the wound with his‘ Handkerchief of Blood’: Twaddle Another battle scar for the cause of Old England, the Raj and the Empire. Pickles He proudly showed the hanging nipple to his sidekick. Cretin I shall tell everyone about your great courage, Duke and how I saw your wounded tit. Twaddle We must discuss this, you and I when we are alone in the toilets in Daffodil Place. Cretin Friends again, you and me, Duke? Friends again? Twaddle Friends again, CORPORAL CRETIN. Pickles In the meantime: Hamilton Conk had regrouped himself and again charged the main gypsy gathering. In the last second the gypsies stepped aside allowing him to soar through the air head-butting‘ Charlie’ s Chippie Van’ over unto its side. This allowed Gallowsbird’ s Cidermen and Brudder’ s SS Men to break out waving P45 ' s in the faces of the gypsies. Donk Foul! Tis foul play. Pickles Tan Donk roared. Belching smoke appeared over the great South Heap. Then the old Fordson Major chugged into view. Correct! It was the return of Sergeant Duncan Buttass and his Skullcrackers. Buttass Beat the living crap out of the Paddy Wagoner ' s and systematically slaughter them Black and White Minstrels. How I hate Black and White Minstrels. Donk Hey, big man, you received a bung to keep out of this. Buttass Black and White Minstrels were not mentioned in the terms of the bung. How I hate Black and White Minstrels. Donk Why are you attacking my people? Buttass I ' ve got the toothache. Who owns this plank here?