Pickles Looks like you and I, Wild Will, are about to receive our special awards and there is not much we can do about it. Tucker There is ya ken. Pickles What? Tucker Wear them an turn the tables on the wee fat pig. He ' ll issue mer o ' them gongs than the ithers. There ' ll be mer o ' us than them. Pickles I say, you haggis busters are not as daft as you look. Tucker Watch it, Pickles! Pickles What about Lizzie. How can we persuade her to wear it? Tucker Oh, she ' s a law unte hersel. Pickles My half-brother seems to have this sixth sense. He appears to know where anyone is at any given time. He had delivered all the medals within fifteen minutes. I breathed on Wild Will’ s‘ Dodo Gong’, took out my handkerchief and shined it up and he did the same with my own. When Hamilton Conk returned from his messages he put out his hand to Marmaduke for his reward. The little man with the fat ass slipped him a shilling. Hamilton Conk pawed the ground. Basil Freeloader gave him a pound note. Which is an indication of how serious the situation looked to them inside the toilets in Daffodil Place. Hamilton Conk pawed the ground again. Marmaduke Twaddle gave him a fiver. Hamilton Conk then lunged forward, grabbed Marmaduke by the lapels and the little man with the fat ass let out a scream in anticipation of a head-but which, unfortunately, didn’ t arrive. Instead, my brother bit a chunk out of Twaddle’ s lapel; the lapel with the‘ Crown of Marm- First Class’ pinned to it. Hamilton, spat it out, opened the clasp and pinned the treasured decoration to his own lapel. Tucker Hamilton Conk‘ Crown of Marm- First Class.’ Pickles Tucker shouted in through the window: Tucker‘ For unparalleled bravery or delivering messages.’ Twaddle
This meeting is closed herewith. We will meet, in force, at six-thirty on Friday evening at the Village Green with the Pump, with the objective of reclaiming the Tiphead Wastelands from that hoard of Irish gypsies. Hamilton! It is your destiny to play a major part now that you’ re-- well-- sort of-- honoured. Conk Whaaa whooo destinuuu? Twaddle What is he saying, Pickles. Pickles‘ He says he wishes to breakfast with you in the Horse and Hound Hotel ' I shouted in. Tucker Did he really say that? Pickles Who knows. I can ' t understand that little pillock with his big nose. I do wish my mother hadn ' t got involved with a Scottish Lowlander with a big nose, a big undercarriage and a small brain.