Follow me up Railway Terrace and let us eject those Scottish pests from our beloved English pub the Hammer and Cockroach. Gallowsbird Speak your words! Shout your words! Pickles Olaf Gallowsbird went around the Cidermen. Cidermen Duke! Duke! We want the Duke!'. Gallowsbird Will you never recognise that fat ass of his? Shout your new words-‘ Kilties out! Kilties out!’ Cidermen Celtic stout! Celtic stout. Let ' s try that stuff. Let ' s get some of that liquor down our necks. Gallowsbird Did you dick-heads never go to school? Did you not learn your algebra? Pickles They swayed up Railway Terrace and stopped in front of the Hammer and Cockroach. The cry of;‘ Celtic stout! Celtic stout,' was crudely harmonised by a roll of Gargoyle’ s drum. And some residents were seen throwing-off from their first story windows. The door of the Hammer and Cockroach opened and a small man wearing a Celtic scarf came out. Then a Fat man wearing a Rangers cap came out. Then Wild Will Tucker and five, hefty Highlanders wearing nothing at all came out. Together they pushed the unruly mob back into Dock Street. Then right over the wall into the pools, seaweed and rocks. I spat my seaweed out and looked for Twaddle. He was tugging a lobster-creel off his head. His nose was bleeding. He took out his handkerchief and wiped the blood from his little black moustache. Billy Gargoyle was sitting up to his waist in salt-water: Gargoyle Bobodumbender! Down on our asses but no surrender! Pickles Twaddle then got to his feet, held the handkerchief aloft and announced: Twaddle From this day forward-- this bloodstained cloth will symbolise our struggle on this holy battlefield. It shall be known henceforth as the‘ Handkerchief of Blood’ and is hereafter destined for greater things than wiping away snot. Pickles He used the‘ Handkerchief of Blood’ to wipe his nose again before continuing: Twaddle And this epic struggle will be remembered though the annals of history as-- as--‘ The Hammer and Cockroach Push’. Pickles I hadn’ t seen Basil Freeloader during the action but I then noticed him wading out to Twaddle. Freeloader You ' d better get this mob scattered. Sergeant Duncan Buttass and his Skullcrackers are on their way. Bye! The bill for this information amounts to twelve guineas. Pickles The man who treated his subordinates with contempt scampered off before the heat was further turned up. Twaddle Here! Hold on a minute! Where are they now? Freeloader They ' re in the Pie Street-- kicking passers-by as a sort of warm-up exercise. Twaddle
Why are they kicking passers-by and not Paddy Pricks who are digging up the sewers?