that the six men were to be referred to as SS Men , due to the fact that they were ‘ Social Security employees - ‘ moonlighting ’. Olaf Gallowsbird and the Cidermen must have been supping in the Hammer and Cockroach , in far-off , Railway Terrace for their whooping , bellowing and chanting of repulsive slogans was faint for quite some time but as they slowly got nearer the noise built into a crescendo . The sound of breaking glass and splintering timber mingling with the Tinker Street Non-subscribing Salvation Army Band rendering ‘ Its a Long Way to Tipperary ’, was sore on the ears . There was so much damage there was a loud hue and cry from the residents for the Plonkton fixer , Chester Capgut . Then came the moment everyone was waiting for : Marmaduke Twaddle emerged . He was dressed out in an evening suit , starched shirt-collar and all . He looked like a cross between an Antarctic penguin and the Michelin man . The Social Security men neatly lined up on either side of the beer-crate steps . Their leader , Davy Brudder , promptly mounted the stage . He took hold of the rusty , milk jug and requested : Brudder Drum Major - Beat the drum slowly . Pickles Then Olaf Gallowsbird took over the loud-hailer : Gallowsbird Speak your words ! Clap your hands ! Speak your words ! Cidermen Duke ! Duke ! We want the Duke ! Gallowsbird Some of you are shouting ‘ Duck ’. The word is DUKE , a word that rhymes with puke - remember that ! Pickles Cecil Cretin ’ s pointed little face dropped when he realised the significance of what happened next : Basil Freeloader , the crawler who treated his subordinates with contempt , took unto himself , the pleasure of announcing the ‘ Second Coming ’: Freeloader Ladies and Gentlemen I give you : Marmaduke Twaddle - THE EIGHTH EARL OF MARM . Pickles That really put the little fat man in the highest of spirits . On his way to the ‘ rostrum ’ he pushed through the crowd to an old woman he thought was collecting for charity , and popped half-a-crown into her tin . But , it was only Lizzie Juggins holding out one of the chipped shaving-mugs for it to be filled with scrumpy . Juggins Yer a great wee marmalade man . God bless yer wee fat bum . Pickles Squawked the lady with no obvious independent means . Then the Cidermen became a bit unruly : Cidermen Bugger the Earl ! Bugger the bloody Earl . We want the Duke ! Bring on the Duke ! There ’ ll be no scrumpy without the Duke . Gallowsbird That is the bleeding Duke ! That man with the sloppy jaws is the Duke ! Don ’ t speak anymore of those words . Put your hands over your gobs and keep them there till the scrumpy arrives . Pickles Marmaduke Twaddle had no sooner grabbed the rusty loud-hailer than Penelope Kirkspringer , the Gazette reported , shouted at him : Kirkspringer I ’ m of Scottish descent ! How do you think the native population of Scotland is going to react to your banishment plan ? Twaddle Simple ! We will prevent the return by the expelled members of that uncouth race by repairing and extending the height of Hadrian ' s wall . Kirkspringer
And of course we Scots would just take that peacefully ?