Freeloader Oh yes , yes indeed , my sincere apologies , my esteemed friend . Twaddle Actually - - my - - what was it now ? - - Yes ! - - My great-great grandfather , was the Seventh Earl of Marm . Pickles ‘ The frigging Earl of WHAT ?’ I burst out . Twaddle Excuse me , but I think that nosey little prick , Pickles is listening in . Pickles Snipes and I descended swiftly , grabbed the ladder and headed around the side of the building . Luckily for us , Harry Bumthinker came back , no doubt remembering he had only done half a leek the last time and was just under the window when Cretin came bursting around the corner . He spied Harry : Cretin So , it ' s you is it . I ' m just about pissed off with your constant usage of these facilities . This is an emergency station only and you are limited to three visits per day . Bumthinker Tee - - he - - he - - he - - he - - he - - he Pickles Bumthinker sniggered at the little man who stole milk from the NSPPC , walked past him into H . Q . and had a pump in the midst of that very important meeting . Cretin came in and put the blame on the big fat alco . After Bumthinker departed and we had resumed our position on the stepladder , Freeloader pressed his case . Freeloader Yes Sir , you were speaking of your illustrious forefathers ? Twaddle I have made a comprehensive study to the Great Book of Heraldry . I found that my great-great grandfather , was the Seventh Earl of Marm . Freeloader Amazing ! Amazing ! Yes , I see the likeness . I am sorry . I had no idea - Your Grace Twaddle Well the title itself , it ’ s a - - It ’ s a sort of slipped , you might say . Freeloader Yes , but of course ! An oversight , no doubt , forgot to renew the Letter ’ s Patent , or some such triviality - I understand - Your Grace . Twaddle That is precisely what happened - - the Letter ’ s Patent , that grumpy old fool of a great-uncle of mine overlooked the renewal . Gallowsbird I thought you said it was your great - - Pickles Olaf didn ’ t get finished , for Freeloader stood on his toe . Freeloader Yes , perhaps , at some time convenient to Your Grace , we might have the honour of visiting the ancestral home . Pickles ‘ For frig sake ! He ' s in shit street now ', I whispered to Snipes . Snipes He will worm his way out of it - with the assistance of Freeloader , you will see . Twaddle I ' m afraid you may find that my ancestral home has been buried under the Tiphead Colliery waste . Freeloader Oh dear ! Rather unfortunate , indeed . Pickles Rather fortunate , I would say .