Snipes Who do you think is behind Marmaduke Twaddle , Thomas ? Softhead Why , Cecil Cretin , of course ! Cecil Cretin is always behind Marmaduke Twaddle . If Marmaduke Twaddle does stop suddenly Cecil Cretin does bump into him . I does see it happen with mine own two eyes . Snipes What I was trying to get at . Oh , never mind ! Softhead Why , I does see the very pair , this very day , with mine very own eyes . I does overhear what they are planning with mine very own ears . Pickles Suddenly , Perkin Snipes was interested again : Snipes Pray tell ! What were they planning , Thomas ? Softhead I does listen , and I does hear , with these here ears . They were planning a meeting at a place they calls ‘ Headquarters ’ for important discussions . Snipes Quick Fabian ! Fetch your little black book . They are meeting at the public toilets in Daffodil Place Pickles
‘ Little black book , indeed !’ Is there no privacy to be had at all ?
AT THE PUBLIC TOILETS IN DAFFODIL PLACE
Pickles When we arrived in Daffodil Place I pointed to an open window , which I believed , would overlook the attendant ’ s table in the public toilets . I hoisted my little stepladder and Snipes and I climbed up . There they were , as usual , sitting around Marmaduke Twaddle as if he was important . That facility is readily available because Cecil Cretin is the resident , toilet attendant . Everything was silent , apart from a trickle against the stainless steel urinal . A trickle AND a titter , I should say , for the customer was Harry Bumthinker . Bumthinker is an alco who is frequently in need of the toilets . He is ‘ the man who titters at passers-by as if it were they who were the nuts '. The distinguished men around the attendant ’ s table were anxiously awaiting his departure . Bumthinker flopped his way past them , turned around and tittered at them , then banged the door behind himself . As usual , Marmaduke Twaddle was the first to speak : Twaddle You will have , no doubt noticed , I have invited a treasured friend to join us this day . Quietly now , will you please welcome Mister Basil Freeloader . Pickles Snipes and I could hardly believe our ears . Basil Freeloader ? Basil Freeloader , an non-discharged bankrupt , a man who could squeeze a bottle of brandy out of a dried grape . A creepy-crawly , who had a reputation for treating his subordinates with contempt , was actually welcomed by someone : worse than that , welcomed as a trusted friend . Snipes Birds of a feather - in the bogs , together . Twaddle This is Cecil Cretin , my companion of many years . Cecil - Basil , Freeloader And how are you , Cecil ? Cretin Very well , thanks , and you ?