Snipes Who do you think is behind Marmaduke Twaddle, Thomas? Softhead Why, Cecil Cretin, of course! Cecil Cretin is always behind Marmaduke Twaddle. If Marmaduke Twaddle does stop suddenly Cecil Cretin does bump into him. I does see it happen with mine own two eyes. Snipes What I was trying to get at. Oh, never mind! Softhead Why, I does see the very pair, this very day, with mine very own eyes. I does overhear what they are planning with mine very own ears. Pickles Suddenly, Perkin Snipes was interested again: Snipes Pray tell! What were they planning, Thomas? Softhead I does listen, and I does hear, with these here ears. They were planning a meeting at a place they calls‘ Headquarters’ for important discussions. Snipes Quick Fabian! Fetch your little black book. They are meeting at the public toilets in Daffodil Place Pickles
‘ Little black book, indeed!’ Is there no privacy to be had at all?
AT THE PUBLIC TOILETS IN DAFFODIL PLACE
Pickles When we arrived in Daffodil Place I pointed to an open window, which I believed, would overlook the attendant’ s table in the public toilets. I hoisted my little stepladder and Snipes and I climbed up. There they were, as usual, sitting around Marmaduke Twaddle as if he was important. That facility is readily available because Cecil Cretin is the resident, toilet attendant. Everything was silent, apart from a trickle against the stainless steel urinal. A trickle AND a titter, I should say, for the customer was Harry Bumthinker. Bumthinker is an alco who is frequently in need of the toilets. He is‘ the man who titters at passers-by as if it were they who were the nuts '. The distinguished men around the attendant’ s table were anxiously awaiting his departure. Bumthinker flopped his way past them, turned around and tittered at them, then banged the door behind himself. As usual, Marmaduke Twaddle was the first to speak: Twaddle You will have, no doubt noticed, I have invited a treasured friend to join us this day. Quietly now, will you please welcome Mister Basil Freeloader. Pickles Snipes and I could hardly believe our ears. Basil Freeloader? Basil Freeloader, an non-discharged bankrupt, a man who could squeeze a bottle of brandy out of a dried grape. A creepy-crawly, who had a reputation for treating his subordinates with contempt, was actually welcomed by someone: worse than that, welcomed as a trusted friend. Snipes Birds of a feather- in the bogs, together. Twaddle This is Cecil Cretin, my companion of many years. Cecil- Basil, Freeloader And how are you, Cecil? Cretin Very well, thanks, and you?