Being there
No matter how hard it may be, it’s still important to try to be there for your friend. They may feel lonely even if there are people around. This is because the people nearby may not be really in tune with what’s going on with them. Just by staying close and listening with a smile or gentle touch, you show you are there. It takes courage and extra energy to do this.
Sometimes the person with advanced cancer may pull away from people and seem to be withdrawing as death nears. This is natural and is one way of disconnecting from life. This process and what you might expect at this time is described in our information called Nearing the End of Life. The best thing you can do at this time is take you friend’s cue – simply stay in the background and be available. Try not to take this withdrawal personally or feel hurt when your friend pulls away. It likely has nothing to do with you.
Talking about death and dying
Many people worry about what to say when a person talks about dying. But this is a common topic when facing cancer. Some people want to talk about the dying process – they want to know what to expect. Some want to make sure that their wishes are followed when it comes to death. For example, they want to be sure that machines are not used to keep them alive. Some want to know how they will die, and ask, “What will happen when I’m actually dying?” For answers to these questions and concerns, it helps to find experts in hospice care or care of the terminally ill.