Make 'I' Statements
A basic rule of good communication is to avoid telling the other person how they feel or what they think (in reality, you have no idea). What you can do is communicate about yourself and your own feelings. And a simple way to do this is try to start sentences with “I”, as in “I feel like this when you do that”.
Respect Differences in Values and Feelings
Relationships require a lot of compromise, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get to have our own thoughts, values and feelings. Show each other enough respect to allow for differences without forcing either person to concede their beliefs. In the end, everyone has to compromise, but in the beginning everyone should be feel as if their perspective was acknowledged.
Be Specific, Ask Questions
Try to be as specific as you can be and avoid making sweeping general statements (e.g. “you always do this” “I can never do that”). If you find your partner making vague or general statements ask for clarification and ask questions to try and help both of you get a clearer idea of what specifically is the problem.
Anyone Can Call Time-Out at Any Time
For a conversation to feel safe, everyone needs to feel like they can leave at any point. This doesn’t make it OK to storm out while your partner is in the middle of a sentence, but agree that either of you, at any point, can ask for a time out, or to end the conversation, as long as you also agree to pick it up at a later point
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Agree on Confidentiality
Everyone needs to feel like what they say in a private conversation stays private. You’ll have to agree on the limits of that (is it OK to talk to a best friend? A brother or sister?) but whatever restrictions you put on it, you have to respect those and not break confidentiality.