No one can be expected to communicate honestly and openly unless they feel safe. Make a list for yourself about what you need to feel safe and then share that list with your partner. Feeling safe might be about language that you use, or where you have the conversation. It might be agreeing to no yelling, or that neither of you will storm out of the room. If you can agree on things from your lists those can become part of the ground
Respecting Differences in Sexual Interests
If the conversation you want to have is about sharing sexual fantasies or trying a new sexual activity together , everyone needs to agree not to belittle, shame, or otherwise laugh at their partner’s sexual interests. This doesn’t mean you have to like them or act them out. But if your partner takes the risk of exposing a sexual desire, you need to consider that kind of sharing a compliment and be respectful, even if you want nothing to do with the actual proposal.
Attend Without Interrupting
This is one the hardest ground rules to follow, but also one of the most important ones. You need to engage and attend to what your partner is telling you without interrupting. If you’re interrupting and talking over each other, neither of you will ever feel heard. Agree to not interrupt and know that you’ll both slip up, but when you do you’ll apologize and try harder to pay attention and wait until your partner is finished before responding.
Bring a Sense of Goodwill to the Conversation
Hopefully it’s true of your relationship that neither you nor your partner are trying to intentionally hurt the other or be mean to the other. If you believe this is true, try to remember it even when you’re getting into it with each other. If you find yourself attacking (either in what you’re saying or how you are saying it) remember this ground rule and back off a bit.
Make 'I' Statements
A basic rule of good communication is to avoid telling the other person how they feel or what they think (in reality, you have no idea). What you can do is communicate about yourself and your own feelings. And a simple way to do this is try to start sentences with “I”, as in “I feel like this when you do that” .
Respect Differences in Values and Feelings