Ask FondA
Our agony aunt Fonda Cox
tackles the dilemmas that are
keeping you awake at night…
Ask
DEAR FONDA, we'd like a naturist
wedding. How far should we go
with accessories?
My dear reader, when one thinks of a naturist
wedding, there’s so many things to consider. Firstly,
I hope you are of a sprightly young age – there’d be
nothing worse than a bridesmaid tripping over the
groom’s scrotum as it scrapes the floor behind him.
And god forbid you should drop the rings
and have to bend down to retrieve
them… you don’t want to show the
world the ring he’s truly
marrying
you for.
As a drag queen I
think it’s essential to accessorise in some
way, and what would a wedding be
without a fascinator? The great thing
about being naturists is that the
fascinator instantly becomes a
versatile accessory, and from what I
remember of those educational
movies of the ’70s shot on volley
ball courts of nudist camps, most of
them appeared to have Diana Ross or
Mick Hucknall rammed feet first up their
jacksie! So pick a nice bright one and wear it with
care – I’d hate the wedding picture to look like a
flock of crows were feeding in your lady garden.
DEAR FONDA , I was delighted when my fiancée
proposed but the ring is, quite frankly, horrible.
The problem is, she designed it herself. What
should I do?
Oh my poor little lamb – I feel your pain. Why, I
myself have been saddled with a partner with a
less than attractive ring before. In my case I sent
78 » pink weddings magazine