Fay aND Michelle
However painful or fearful it
might be for you to make
the decision to get married
to the person you love, just
always be true to yourself...
for us the day was also about bringing our special people
together to celebrate our relationship.
We loved seeing it all come together and we reflected on
it throughout our honeymoon in Portugal. It really was the
best day of our lives.
t’s hard to pick out the high points as there were just so
many – from walking into the ceremony room and seeing
the splashes of orange and the flowers, special moments
with the vows, the Bentley and the boat… the food,
music, speeches… our wedding dance… it all came
Our top planning tip is to stay organised. Keep a planning
book and a spreadsheet and keep in touch with your wedding
planner at the venue. Share your plans for the day with your
bridal party well in advance – and let people help you. Last but
not least, make sure you have some champagne and brandy in
your bridal suite to get rid of any jitters – and when you’ve
done all you can do, sit back and enjoy your day!
12 » pink weddings magazine
e had a fantastic day, but one of the
main reasons we wanted to do this
article was to highlight the pressures
that are associated with being black
While our wedding was everything
we could hope for and more, the only disappointment was
that Fay’s family wasn’t a part of our coming together and
partnership, and we had to plan our wedding accordingly.
When Fay told her parents that she was a lesbian in
1999, it was to be kept a secret and not to be spoken about
ever again – her mum didn’t even know what being lesbian
was. So when she decided to tell her parents in 2015 that
she was getting married to Michelle, the relationship with
Fay’s family became very strained – even though they
adored Michelle as a friend of the family, she shouldn’t be
marrying their only daughter!
With Fay’s mum being Jamaican and worshiping the
Christian faith and her father Barbadian and brought up in a
culture where they don’t talk about their feelings,
particularly taboo subjects, it meant that it was a very
straightforward (but difficult) decision for us to exclude Fay’s
family from our wedding, to avoid provoking a situation or
creating a divide. This was a risk we were not prepared to
take, as we wanted to celebrate our special day without any
So if we could offer one piece of advice, it would be that
however painful or fearful it might be for you to make the
decision to get married to the person you love, just always
be true to yourself for everlasting happiness.