Finally fixed that annoying noise in my car.....I just opened the door and pushed him out.
A negative person sees the glass of water half empty. A positive person sees it half full. A realistic person adds two shots of whiskey, two cubes of ice, and says "Cheers."
Nothing in the world can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.
Sadly I do most of my proofreading after I hit send.
Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They'll never tell anyone, because they aren't even listening.
A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me....well....that's a sign of good taste.
I hate when people say age is just a number. Age is obviously a word!
I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I get a life, i'll be notified immediately.
Did you know? By replacing your potato chips with grapefruit as a snack you can lose up to 90% of what little joy you still have left in your life.
I need that kinda coffee that's so strong when I take a sip, my ancestors wake up.
One minute you're young and wild....the next minute you get excited about air fryers and crock pots.
Tequila may not be the answer, but it sure helps you forget the question.