I Am Her Daughter
all of you and saying goodbye, at the same time I’ m anxious to be Home with the Lord. I know I have a place in heaven with Him and I’ ve been looking forward to going there my whole life.
I don’ t want to go through the things I’ ll have to in the next months. I wish I could just skip all this bad stuff and go straight into Jesus’ arms. Do you understand? Can you see the difference between dying and death? It’ s all about heaven and the Lord. I can’ t wait to get there but I know it’ s not His will yet. I still have time here and I’ m going to make the most of it. Does that help you at all?” The look in her eyes told me she really needed me to understand.
I can’ t explain what happened next. All of a sudden I understood. Call it a light bulb moment or the Holy Spirit speaking to me; whatever it was, I finally got it. All these months I was trying to find a way to handle or control Mom’ s cancer and what might happen. In reality I had been thinking of it only from my point of view. I wasn’ t looking at it from her perspective. Duh!
At that moment I knew I had to turn things around. I desperately needed to get my faith in the right perspective and start thinking about how to make things better for Mom— not me. It was time to give up control and put thoughts of doctors, hospitals, and chemo treatments aside and focus on letting Mom be herself. She had a right to live and die the way she wanted.“ I am her daughter,” I told myself,“ I can do this but only with the Lord’ s help.
April 2013 | pieforseven. com 51