DISSED
PICKLEBALL COURT
ON THE
BY CAROLYN MILAZZO MURPHY
got my feelings hurt for the first time playing pickleball.
I went up to a group of three young men looking for a
fourth, and they refused to play with me.
“I’d feel really bad slamming the ball at you,” said a
20-something.
“It looks like that other court is wrapping up their game, so
we’re going to wait and see if they want to mix things up with
us,” said another 20-something.
I can take a hint, so I walked off the court trying to maintain my
composure and dignity. But they insulted me and I was hurt.
They dismissed me without giving me a chance, assuming I
couldn’t hold my own.
Do you know how many times I’ve played with weaker players?
Too many times to count. But that’s what you do when you’re
a good sport. You play with someone when they ask; you give
them a shot. Isn’t that what pickleball is all about?
I’m not sure why these guys dissed me, but I suspect it’s
because I’m a woman of a certain age. My friend and frequent
pickleball partner John agrees.
“I think it’s a combination of machismo and sexism,” he said.
I’ve got news for them—neither has a
place in pickleball, where finesse and
strategy are more important than
power, and men and women
routinely share the court.
The sport is a lot more
welcoming to women
than golf or tennis. Just
ask women how many
times they’ve dealt
with macho men in
either sport.
than other sports, including tennis. But over the past few
years, the game is drawing younger players. Along with speed
and power, some of the younger players are packing a little
attitude.
At our Tuesday night drop-in that draws about 30 players,
nearly half are in their 20s and 30s. Though most are open
to competing with older players, some of the young turks
seem intent on keeping with their own. Granted, their game is
mostly slam-jam, but nothing an experienced and, dare I say,
older player couldn’t handle.
One of the best things about pickleball is that it’s a great
equalizer, and one of the most democratic games ever
invented. Older folks can play against players half their age,
and women and men can compete on equal footing because
the game isn’t about power, but reflexes and strategy. Perhaps
this is why I was so surprised by the snub. I’ve never had men
refuse to play with me.
The slight occurred during open court time for leveled play. A
coordinator helps direct people to courts, but you’re often on
your own because games finish at different times. When you
see a court that looks competitive, you pounce. Most people
are more than willing to give you a shot. The three men were
standing on a court waiting for another game. I walked up
and said, “Come on, let’s play.” Um, not so fast, Toots.
One of the
best things about
pickleball is that it’s a
Pickleball is hugely
popular with the
50-and-over crowd,
mainly because the
smaller court and
lighter paddles are
easier on the body
I didn’t realize how much they hurt my feelings
until I was in the middle of my next game. I
suddenly had that sinking feeling you get
in third grade and are picked last for the
kickball team. It stung just as much at
60 as it did at 8. To add insult to injury,
they played with men who I'd soundly
beaten later that night.
great equalizer, and one of
the most democratic games
ever invented. Let’s keep
it that way.
I am by no means a shrinking violet,
and many of my female pickleball
friends were shocked I didn’t stand
my ground. But it was clear I wasn’t
wanted, and I felt sheepish. No one
wants to feel they’re playing a game
under protest.
Continued on page 62
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2019 |
MAGAZINE
61