Psychiatrist associates the benefits of playing with a partner to established relationship models .
FEATURE
Doctor ’ s Orders : Pickleball Delivers Bonus Benefits for Couples
Psychiatrist associates the benefits of playing with a partner to established relationship models .
by STEPHEN HUNT
Paul Dobransky is a psychiatrist , public educator and theorist who regularly writes about human courtship and personal growth . He ’ s also an avid pickleball player , having picked up the sport last year alongside his wife .
Those themes came together in Dobransky ’ s January 2025 column for Psychology Today , “ The Psychology of Pickleball .” In connecting established relationshipbuilding models with his own observations playing pickleball , Dobransky makes the case that not only is the sport good for our physical and psychological health , but it can also have a positive impact on our relationships .
“ If your relationship gets rocky at times ,” he concludes , “ consider more pickleball .”
The Colorado-based Dobransky , also known as Dr . Paul , expanded on his conclusions in an interview with USA Pickleball , comparing how basic concepts in the sport relate to successful relationship models including the Gottman Method , social exchange theory and the Michelangelo Effect .
The Gottman Method
The Gottman Method of couples therapy , named for husband-and-wife relationship psychologists John and Julie Schwartz Gottman , is a well-known research-based approach to improve communication and strengthen relationships .
When Dobransky and his wife took up pickleball , they embarked on a journey of learning the game together — from the rules , to the strokes and strategies , to the proper etiquette . Doing this together enhanced not only their understanding of the sport , but also their relationship .
One of the tenets of the Gottman Method involves “ bids ,” or attempts by one partner to engage the other . Bids can be big or small , and don ’ t necessarily have to be verbal . In pickleball , examples might be offering encouragement to your partner , sneaking a playful wink , or giving a pat on the back .
The Gottmans found that the ideal ratio of bids to constructive criticism for couples is 5 to 1 .
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