12 . SMILE
Be positive and smile . Make sure your smile extends to your eyes so that it looks authentic . People are attracted to positivity , not negativity .
13 . AUTHENTICITY
Be authentic in your interactions and not sarcastic . People want to start conversations with you because you ’ re being real , and not facetious .
14 . FROM THE HEART
When cold calling or emailing someone , give him or her authentic compliments from the heart .
15 . WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU ?
During a cold interaction , say specifically what you can do for a person .
16 . WARM IT UP !
To further your cold interaction and make it warmer , include an actionable question at the end of your call or email . For example , you could say , “ Could we jump on a call to discuss your goals with time management ?”
17 . YOUR FEET
In a group conversation , point your feet towards the person you want to hone in on and talk to . It shows that you ’ re in tune with what that person has to say .
18 . THE HEAD TILT
In a group conversation , tilt your head to show that you ’ re listening to the person . Then , he or she will see that you ’ re paying attention and be more inclined to speak to you privately .
19 . THE FACE
Watch your microexpressions in any social setting , even if you ’ re not talking to anyone . For example , if your eyebrows are raised and your lips are stretched or drawn back , it shows that you ’ re afraid and not calm and collected . People want to talk to you if you ’ re composed and not scared .
20 . TO FIST BUMP / NOT TO FIST BUMP ?
Do not fist bump when first meeting someone . Shake his or her hand instead .
21 . SWEATY PALMS
Make sure your hand is dry when you go to shake another person ’ s hand . Nobody wants to talk to someone with a wet hand , because it shows that he or she is nervous .
22 . VERTICAL
Hold your hand out and move it up and down with the other person ’ s hand . If you hold your hand over his or hers , it demonstrates that you ’ re condescending . If you put your hand out palm up , and hold it below the other person ’ s hand , it shows that you ’ re lower than him or her . You want to be perceived as an equal instead .
23 . BY THE BAR ...
At any event , situate yourself right where people are exiting the bar with their drinks . This is when they ’ re settling in and ready for interactions .
24 . ... OR BY THE FOOD
Sit down where people are eating too . As soon as they put their plates down , shake their hands and start talking to them .
25 . THE SWEET SPOT
Stand or sit still when you ’ re in your sweet spot at the bar exit and the tables . Nobody wants to interact with someone who is fidgeting .
26 . WATCH YOUR NERVES
On that note , watch your self-soothing behaviors . Don ’ t clasp your hands together , tap your foot or self groom while waiting for people to approach you .
27 . ALPHA BEHAVIOR
To demonstrate alpha behavior in a group and attract people to you , use expressive gestures . For example , describe two ideas coming together by bringing your hands together .
28 . THE POWER OF LEAN
If you ’ re in a group setting and trying to focus on connecting with one person , lean in when he or she talks . It shows , “ I want to be with you and talk with you .”
29 . DISPLAY CONFIDENCE
When you ’ re standing and waiting for an interaction , keep your head up and your shoulders down to communicate how confident you are .
30 . VOCAL POWER
When you first start talking to someone , use your low vocal power to keep him or her engaged .
31 . REMEMBER TO BREATHE
Take deep breaths and don ’ t go high up with your vocals . End all your questions with a period , not a question mark . You want to sound like you ’ re sure of yourself .
32 . BE PASSIONATE
Add excitement into your introductions . Raise your voice , for example , when talking about your company or your passions .
33 . GROWTH
If you ’ re in a group and you want people to pay attention to you , use the nonverbal hand signal for growth . This involves raising your hand in an upward slope . You ’ re showing people using your body language how successful you are . Of course , we ’ re all attracted to successful people and want to start conversations with them .
Vanessa Van Edwards is lead investigator at the Science of People — a human behavior research lab . She is the national best-selling author of Captivate : The Science of Succeeding With
People , which was chosen as one of Apple ’ s Most Anticipated Books of 2017 . She writes a monthly column on the science of success for Entrepreneur Magazine and the Huffington Post . Her original research has been featured in Fast Company , Cosmopolitan , TIME , Forbes , INC and USA Today .
ScienceOfPeople . com
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