communication corner
THE SCIENCE OF GREAT CONVERSATION
BY VANESSA VAN EDWARDS
You ' re going to a party , networking event or cocktail hour to meet new people and make connections . However , you always have a problem figuring out how to approach people , no matter what the situation .
Thankfully , there are skills you can hone and then use in social or business settings . They may be verbal or nonverbal , and easy to grasp or require a little practice . I want to explore the science of great conversation with you .
How can you make dazzling conversation with anyone you meet ? There is both an art and a science to effective communication .
1 . BE ANTI-BORING
Everyone starts off conversations the same way . They say , “ What do you do ?” or “ Where are you from ?” Instead , ask someone , “ What passion projects are you working on ?” or “ What gets you up in the morning ?”
2 . START OFF STRONG
Start off the conversation with a “ how ” or “ why ” question . People will give you more thoughtful answers and really think about why you ’ re asking them . Say , for instance , “ How did you meet the host ?” That way you ’ ll learn about the person you ’ re talking to , as well as the host .
3 . TRIPS AND ADVENTURE
Ask people if they have any trips or fun adventures coming up .
4 . FOSTER EXCITEMENT
Ask people if anything exciting happened to them that day .
5 . STORIES
Tell a story . People love funny anecdotes and it makes your conversation more personal right off the bat .
6 . BREAK IT DOWN
Break down a question for someone . Instead of being general and saying , “ How are you doing ?” ask , “ How ’ s Fall treating you so far ?” Frame it in the context of time so he or she can thoughtfully answer the question .
7 . BE THE HIGHLIGHT
Ask a person , “ Have any highlights today ?” Not only is this person going to feel good because he or she gets to talk about him or herself , but it also starts off the conversation on a positive note .
8 . THE HANDSHAKE
Use a firm handshake when you meet someone . Don ’ t do the “ death grip ,” but make sure that your firmness level communicates that you ’ re confident in yourself .
9 . THE EYES HAVE IT
Make eye contact with someone . Power gaze at people ; this involves looking at people ’ s eyes and foreheads , and not below their mouths . That ’ s only for social situations .
10 . POWER POSE
Don ’ t stand slumped over . Instead , do a power pose . Stand with your feet apart and your arms loose at your sides . People are going to be attracted to you and want to talk to you because you seem confident and in control .
11 . LIKE-DAR
Ask a “ like radar ” question . This is a question that will highlight what you two have in common . For example , you might ask , “ Keeping up with certain sport lately ?” or “ What are your favorite restaurants around here ?” These questions and things in common will foster instant connections .
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