Perrysburg Pulse Magazine Perrysburg Pulse November | Page 24

Longing For
A KITCHEN TABLE
BY ALEXANDRA KUYKENDALL
A
s I’ve been preparing to
speak at a conference in a
few weeks on blogging as a
platform, I’ve been thinking
much about the idea of the
kitchen table.
The kitchen table used to be a place
to invite your neighbors in to have a
conversation. To make a cup of coffee
or tea and catch up on life. I don’t
experience that kind of community in
my kitchen too regularly. Often I chat
with neighbors in the front yard or
over the back fence (which has a nice
nostalgic ring to it as well.) But actually
inviting people inside, well that tends
to be reserved for when “company is
coming.” When I run around the house
the two hours before guests arrive
cleaning the toilets and stuffing the
toys into bins. When cleaning supplies
that don’t make it out from beneath the
kitchen sink, make a jailbreak to do their
magic.
The truth is I don’t even have a kitchen
table. I have lots of places for people to
sit, the bar with stools all lined up where
I serve my children like a short-order
cook, our main table that would be in
the dining room if we had walls, but we
live in one big open concept space, and
an island in my kitchen on coasters that
is used sometimes for homework, but
mostly for collecting junk mail.
But more than an actual table, I need
a space for someone to be with me. To
spend time, whether talking matters
of the heart or just talking about the
weather. Relationships are built in part
by an immediate deep connection, but
often by the everydayness of what are
you doing this afternoon?
So, my kitchen table these days looks like
my computer with online relationships,
my phone with calls while I drive my
kids around town or texts late at night,
the playground at school where I can
see the same parents with sometimes
big news, but sometimes what are you
making for dinner? kind of conversation.
My MOPS group meets weekly as a
structured table of sorts, but I long for
more of the spontaneous in my over-
scheduled life.
I guess I long for the space in my
schedule, more than the physical space,
to invite people into my life a little bit at
a time.
I’m curious: do you have a physical
kitchen table? Do you use it for stacking
junk mail like me or eating or coloring?
Where do you connect with your
actual neighbors? And your community
neighbors? And what matters most to
you, the rare, deep connections or the
more mundane togetherness?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A trusted voice for Christian women, Alexandra Kuykendall speaks around
the world about issues of parenting, faith and identity. She is the cohost of The
Open Door Sisterhood Podcast and has authored Loving My Actual Life, Loving My
Actual Christmas, and The Artist’s Daughter: A Memoir. Alex lives in the shadows
of downtown Denver with her husband Derek and their four daughters who
range in age from 15 to six. You can connect with her at
AlexandraKuykendall.com
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