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But we survived, and no ETs – the other group had three
ETs, so they probably weren’t living quite so high on
the wart hog as we were.
Medical Unit: The Medical Unit for 110 PCVs consisted of one nurse. Her primary function was to hand
out condoms and give shots, both of which she did in
abundance and with great enthusiasm and flair, some
would say a little too much enthusiasm and flair. But, if
you had the temerity to actually get sick, she was limited
to taking your temperature, blood pressure and making
an appointment with a local doctor.
During my two years in Swaziland I completely filled a
WHO card and started on a second. We got shots for
typhoid, cholera, polio, bubonic plague, yellow fever,
blue fever, green fever, small pox, big pox, medium size
pox, hoof and mouth disease, and one that I believe was
designed to protect us from music by Barry Manilow.
But, without a doubt, everyone’s favorite was the infamous Gamma Globulin (GG) shot for protection against
hepatitis. We were required to get one every four
months. It was a shot in the butt with what seemed like
a liter of a substance with the consistency and viscosity
of rubber cement.
It took the nurse about 2 minutes to slowly ooze it out of
the needle and into your body. When she was done it
felt like she had just inflated a basketball into your buttock. The immediate reaction was to walk like you were
wearing just one high heeled shoe and then for the next
2 days you had the “GG lean,” an appearance created by
listing to starboard as you sat with all your weight on
one cheek.
P A U 3 A !
And then there was Aralen, a malaria suppressant.
Imagine all the quinine in 50 gallons of tonic water
compressed into a tablet the size and shape of a
large M&M and the color of a pink Good n Plenty.
You took one tablet once a week and the trick was
to get it down your throat before it ever touched
your tongue because the instant bitter taste was
unimaginable. When Swazis would come around
looking for “western medicine” for their ailments I
would give them 2 and say, “Here, take these and
chew them up well.” They never came back. But
my favorite part was that one of the known side
effects of Aralen was “lurid dreams” which troubled some people but became a major form of entertainment for others. If Hollywood could have
captured my dreams on a night when I had just
taken Aralen, it would have spawned a whole new
genre. It would be a seamless blending of a Swedish Art Film and a Spaghetti Western with just a
dash of Nightmare on Elm Street. And it was all
for free!
Transportation Policy: Transportation policy?
What transportation policy? We don’t need no
stinkin’ transportation policy. Pretty much anything went except you still needed prior approval
to drive a motorcycle, but it wasn’t hard to get. I
had a white Chevy pick-up truck that I used for
work and pretty much anything else I wanted to
use it for. A volunteer a few kilometers away from
me had a clapped out old Ford with a 1 liter engine
that he bought for about $200. The only time you
went anywhere with him was if you didn’t much
care when or if you ever arrived.