Pauza Magazine Winter & Spring 2006 | Page 36

P a g e 3 6 April Ghouls Edition, 1906 P A U 3 A ! Someone’s In the Kitchen I Knoooow! How to Make Your Prodavnica THE place to shop! * Two Words: Customer Service * Sell things like huge tortilla shells * Stock up on Oreos for ex-pats * Offer coupons to foreign customers for any reason, like if they say something cute in Macedonian. * Open all locations close by any PCV’s place of residence throughout the country. * Procure the rights to operate a Dunkin Donuts inside the establishment. Bonus points if you can open up a Baskin-Robbins, too. * Free dry-cleaning with every purchase! * Pipe in some Muzak in order to make customers more comfortable while shopping. The Game of Champions Top 10 Signs the apocalypse is upon us now… 10. Wide availability of the Hallmark Channel here. 9. Angelina Jolie giving birth to Brad Pitt’s lovechild. 8. Kitten season starting in about a month. 7. Ticos becoming the #1 taxi choice in Veles. “To catch the reader's attention, place an interesting sentence or quote from the story here.” 6. Handsome counterparts on the rise. 5. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back. 4. Chef quitting South Park due to Scientology! 3. Natalie Portman’s SNL gangsta raps. 2. MAK 9 already counting months until COS. 1. You are reading this blather!! 0. A large list of signs in the April Fool’s section. -1. Oh, no... tha list don’t stop hurr, brah! -2. The sky opening up, granting all PCVs special summer leave with double pay. -3. Lobster replaces ajvar as National Macedonian Dish. -4. Why are you still reading? *****Ben Franklin pwns you!**** H u g s !